


To Lie with Midnight Roses

by George1111



Category: The Vampire Diaries & Related Fandoms
Genre: Action & Romance, Battle, Blood and Violence, Character Turned Into Vampire, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fae & Fairies, Falling In Love, Fights, Friendship/Love, Girl Power, Human/Vampire Relationship, Love Triangle, Male-Female Friendship, Multi, Romance, Romantic Friendship, Sex, Sexy, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Tragic Romance, Vampire Bites, Vampire Hunters, Vampire Sex, Vampire Slayer(s), Vampire Turning, Vampires, Wattpad Romance's Romance Friday, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:56:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29886294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/George1111/pseuds/George1111
Summary: *MATURE* Descriptive, mature content. This book is intended for mature audiences, reader discretion is advised.*!!- This is an original story, all characters, events and story line is made up. The only non-fictional aspect of the story is the location, Port Alice is a real place. PLEASE, do not steal any characters or any story lines.- !!***********"I found love where it wasn't supposed to be. Love in death, love in darkness, in vacant eyes - in him. Someone who I wasn't supposed to be with, or at least so I thought. Maybe I thought I was never worth more than a soft brush of lips, empty promises and being alone.But alone brought me the darkness, alone brought me to him."After a brutal attack on a crisp October night Renessa's life is quickly changed.  When a man arrives out of the shadows and saves her, her  life is forever changing as secrets start to unravel before her eyes - exposing her to a world of vampires, werewolves and other dark creatures - a life she could have never dreamed of. But would it have been a dream or a nightmare?





	1. Chapter 1

**Xavier**

I look up at the night sky as I walk through the woods and I make my way through the dense, damp trees of the cold October night. The stars above remind me of all the stories my father used to tell me about astrology and the constellations as I saw them so clearly up above me now in between the branches. 

It seemed sad that I couldn't remember a single one of them he liked...Although there is one that I know, it's my favourite. It's called Orion's Belt, and I think Orion is known as a hunter, but I'm not sure of what. It's funny to think that because in a way I'm a hunter too, only I hunt to survive, I hunt to live. If I didn't hunt and believe me sometimes I don't want to, but If I didn't I would die.

I continue walking deeper into the woods seemingly much further than I've normally gone, as the weather begins to get colder outside it sometimes becomes harder to hunt for food making my nightly hunts take longer than usual. As I continue to search the area the scent of fresh mountain air weaved its way through the autumn leaves, the silence and the soft trickle of water down a nearby stream calmed me as I continue looking for my next kill. You see I'm not just any hunter, I hunt humans.

Well, at least I used to. When I first became one of them.....a Vampire.

I would hunt every day and every night. I couldn't control it at first, I wasn't able to stop myself. The very scent of human blood made me burn inside with hunger.

I was just a young man when my life was turned upside down. I had just turned twenty-two when I moved to the thriving city of Manhattan with a population of 3.4 million in the 1900s, much different from the small town I grew up in with only 3,000 people. It was an early summer morning on July twentieth when I first set foot in Manhattan, Newyork. The warm air grazed my skin, the sound of people talking and laughing filled the air.

The streets were lined with large buildings, most of them with gothic architectural detail. The buildings were tall, taller than I had ever seen before in my life. Many of the buildings had large windows, most of them which were stained glass. The pointed arches and ribbed vaults made me feel small, walking amongst a foreign place where there was so much for me to discover. It was mind-blowing coming here from a small farm country. 

Everything was so different back then when I first arrived in New York, almost a simpler time it seems but then again many terrible things had happened throughout the 1900s. I lived through The Korean War, Russian Civil War, Vietnam war, Prohibition in the '20s and not to mention the worldwide Great Depression of the 1930s and that's just to start. The world was a different place back then. I was different back then too, I was human.

Being human did not last long for me, I was turned into a Vampire shortly before my twenty-third birthday. I was broken, distraught and I couldn't come to terms with who I now was, in my eyes, I was a monster. I couldn't even bear to look at myself and It wasn't long before I left trails of bodies throughout Manhattan and the upper east side. I wasn't very discreet about my killings either, I was new and I didn't know any better but I thought nothing of it for a while, until one day someone began to catch on. Then, It wasn't just me who was the hunter, I became the hunted.

So I fled, I left town with nothing and decided to head out west, making a few trips on my way. I wanted to visit some places throughout my travels too. On my way about my journey fleeing from the mess I left behind, I met a few friends along the way. The first was two men named Jaxon and Ryker whom I met in a small pub one night in Portland, Oregon. I had entered the pub that warm summer night, it was 1903 and I had been on the run for nearly two years.

It had been a long day of travelling and I was ready to settle down with a nice glass of Scotch. The pub had these ornate hanging light fixtures that glistened off the tops of the polished wooden counters and behind them were finely dressed bartenders in front of rows of shelves that glistened with bottles of alcohol.

The smell of cigars and whisky lingered in the air, the sound of people laughing and talking filled the room but most of all the scent of blood and the thumping of pulsing veins washed over everything else like a tidal wave. You see, pubs were seen as the communal place to be and that night It was buzzing with life. Sweet, sweet life. All the blood pumping through their veins filled my ears and urged my hunger but I fought it. Knowing I was being hunted made every move I made, every encounter uneasy. I was careful about everything I did. 

I walked over to the bar giving the bartender a smile and a slight nod. "Scotch on the rocks, please," I said as I took a seat on the barstool at the counter.

"Make that two." A strong, husky voice said as a tall man sat on the barstool beside me. I spun around to match the words and strong voice to a face that I would soon know to be Jaxon.

"Three, thanks." Said another voice, smoother than the first from the next barstool down beside the man next to me sat a man who I would later get to know as Ryker, Jaxons brother.

Jaxon, the man beside me looked to be around a few years older than me, his late twenties if I had to guess and he had light brown hair in waves down to his shoulders, it contrasted against his pale skin and dark brown eyes. Jaxon's attire looked like any average man in the bar, wearing a black suit and a white collared shirt even though his facial features would beg to differ with the statement of looking average because he looked unearthly when you met his gaze. He carried a cane too which he had just leaned up against the bar and he wore a black-rimmed hat which he took off and placed on the counter, running his hands through his hair.

Ryker, on the other hand, dressed somewhat differently, he wore black slacks and just a plain white button-down shirt. He left the top three buttons undone exposing a small bit of his chest which wasn't very common back then. His outfit was much more casual than Jaxons, with no overcoat, cane or even a hat because of course, he wouldn't try that hard to fit into society's social norms as I soon got to know. He liked things simple - quite the opposite of his brother who was much more over the top in his own ways. His appearance was strikingly different from Jaxon's too, Ryker had broad shoulders and dark emerald green eyes that contrasted his straight jet black hair. He was shorter than Jaxon and his presence seemed more grounded and calm, where Jaxon immediately seemed more high strung and short-tempered.

They introduced themselves and we got to talking, throughout the night I got well acquainted with the two, and we had many interesting conversations. We were laughing and drinking our scotch, and for a moment I felt like myself again, a mortal human being. But that didn't last long when our bartender brought us over another round of drinks, a couple of hours after the three of us had just met.

Off to the side, a young lady has just sliced her finger on a piece of receipt paper drawing a small amount of blood but enough to fill my nose with the scent that my body was most craving. I tried to brush off the urge to turn around and rip her throat open in front of everyone, but I grounded myself and forced my body to stay still. "These are for you three from a special admirer." The bartender said as she placed the three drinks on the counter in front of us. I picked up the glass of whiskey within seconds after she placed it down and chugged it back in one swift movement hoping to rid myself of the burning sensation of pure bloodlust coursing through my body.

Luckily as a vampire alcohol doesn't give you much of a buzz when you're technically quite dead but if you drink enough of it straight you might just start to feel something but I wasn't expecting to feel this. Suddenly, I could feel my eyes change to the dark, inky black colour they always change to when I drink blood, as the veins appeared beneath them trailing down my cheeks on my face. I quickly looked away from Jaxon and Ryker as I held back the hunger now aching inside me burning much more furiously than before. My hands gripped the glossy wooden countertop almost hard enough to crack it if I tried. Someone had slipped blood into my drink and I was too preoccupied to notice. Jaxon stood up from his seat, slamming a couple of bills on the table. "Follow me." He said. "Now!"

A look of confusion spread across my face as Jaxons face grew angry, and suddenly it clicked. Though the only thing I could focus on at that moment was the feeling of my veins pounding, that uncontrollable urge festering its way up inside of me again and my inner voice telling me to pounce on the next human that crossed my path, tearing their throat open and feeding till there was nothing left but something in that moment stopped me. 

Ryker's voice trickled through my head, his calm tone flowing through it like a soft stream of water "He can read your thoughts, Xavier. Do as he says." His words were the only thing that stopped me from throwing away the last two years I had spent learning how to control my hunger.

I quickly got up and followed Jax and Ryker outside knowing that at this moment, I had been found and they knew whoever spiked my drink was going to be shortly behind us if we didn't leave now. I had to leave anyway.

Ryker and Jaxon lead the way around the back of the building that was still buzzing with life. Once we walked around back it brought us out to a small forest of trees, there were no street lights and the dim glow of the moon was the only thing to help make out the shadows of the night.

Jaxon and Ryker sped off into the woods, quicker than I could ever go but I followed behind them, soon I caught up and they finally came to a stop. "You - you are both vampires?" I asked pretending to be surprised, but I knew.

"Obviously." Jaxon stated, his deep voice sounded irritated, "and clearly so are you, Xavier." He said as he turned around to look at me.

"What happened back there? Who knows about you?" Jax asked. "I can hear your thoughts, Xavier. Which is how I knew you would be able to keep up with us. So why don't you tell Ryker here what's going on."

I was completely shocked that Jaxon had the ability to read thoughts, I didn't understand how he, someone who was a Vampire just like me could have a different ability than I do and the way Ryker was able to speak to me without actually speaking, his voice taking over my mind I still couldn't comprehend. I thought we were all the same but then again before tonight I had never met anyone else like me, except for the man who turned me but that story is for another time.

"I'm being followed," I stated. "Someone has been hunting me."

"For how long?" Ryker asked.

"About 2 years. I've been laying low, working small jobs here and there moving from city to city working my way out of here altogether."

"When did it start, who's hunting you?" He asked curiously, but mostly because he was worried that whoever was in that bar was now going to go after them as well.

"A few months after I was turned in New York." I sigh.

"You're new then." He stated.

"Yes," I said, curious about how old they were.

"Oh come on, as if you couldn't tell. Look at him." Jaxon says as he throws his arms up. He sighs, "He's too new, this is too dangerous Ry. We need to leave him." His tone was stern and authoritative. He stood there with his body tense and his chin held high.

"It's okay, I need to get out of here anyway," I said matter of factly, though the thought of having to head off on my own again felt exhausting.

"Do you have a plan?" Ryker asked me.

"Not a single clue, but I've been making my way out west, heading to Canada. I'm leaving the country altogether. The next stop is Vancouver."

"We have friends out there, let us help you." Ryker offered.

Jaxon brings his cane down hard against the damp soil beneath us and turns to face his brother "Ryker, don't be so naive here this could cost us our lives! We need to leave, whoever was in that bar knows he is here, they've seen him, they've seen us. If they're hunting vampires they know who we are, let's go. Now!"

Ryker looked a bit taken back from Jaxons tone which came through as harsh and demanding. "Jaxon...look what happened to Vincent. We left him." Ry responded to his brother, his voice angry but there was a touch of pain, a soft brush of pain, but it was there in the back of his voice.

"Vincent?" I asked, trying to get some more answers but Jaxons voice echoed over mine.

"That was different, Ryker," Jax said, as he placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. He turned back to look at me, the moonlight almost reflecting off his pale skin. "Listen, it was nice to meet you. Lay low, move fast, stop stalling. I'm sorry but we can't help you." 

"That's bullshit Jax and you know it." Ryker snapped back. " Roman is in Port Alice. Just off Vancouver island, he has been helping hide vampires for ages and he owes us a favour. Let's at least get him there, he's one of us and we fight to protect our own."

I stood there in shock for a moment that I might actually have a chance to stop running for my life. That I actually met two people just like me, people more experienced and trained, people who might be willing to help me.

Jaxon's eyes softened for a minute as he dropped his shoulders. He loosened his grip on his cane and sighed. "Let's go then. Now!" Jaxon ordered, looking me in the eyes and giving me a slight nod. 

I didn't know what to expect that night. I didn't know where Port Alice was or who Roman was, hell, I barely knew these two men in front of me but I knew I wasn't alone in this journey and I needed all the help I could get.

I was worried about Jaxon and Ryker leaving me behind when things got tough but they both proved me wrong on many occasions later in life. To this day, they have both stuck with me. They have become my family and they have taught me, along with Roman how to control my hunger and myself. We have been trying for years to get strictly on an animal-based diet, and now I've finally come to terms with it.

Out here it became easy, living among so much wildlife and so little people. Finally, we had found somewhere safe for us to be. Somewhere where we can roam free at night without having to worry about being caught, without worrying about someone hearing us or running into anyone, until now.

As I continue my hunt through the woods I finally see a small Fox not too far ahead of me when suddenly the smell of fresh human blood catches me off guard. I stop abruptly as a far-off sound of muffled screams rings within my ears capturing my attention and my mind begins to seek elsewhere.

When I was turned into a Vampire the first thing I noticed was my impeccable sense of hearing kick in. I could hear everything and everyone, any kind of noise sounded as if it was directly in front of me. I could overhear many conversations and pick up on the tiniest of noises, like bugs for example. The sound they make when crawling, the sound their wings make when flying. If I focused intently enough, I could hear all of these things. At first, it was amazing but then it quickly became a burden and I have tuned it out since. But every now and then, If I want to I listen. I mostly eavesdrop on conversations, listen in on the ladies talking about me in the bars but tonight I picked up on the sound of banging then glass shattering, and before I knew it I heard a scream.

Without thinking my body involuntarily began tracing the scent of human blood. My veins started to ache as my mouth grew dry from craving the sweet scent the blood had, like figs and brown sugar.

Never in my life have I smelt blood quite so sweet and now the only thing my mind and body was interested in was finding out where it came from.

The night air shifted as I made my way closer to the smell. It felt quite strange, I've never noticed anyone living nearby before out here in the woods and if there was then they were usually very quiet.

I followed the direction I heard the noise come from, I swiftly maneuvered myself through the trees and branches of the forest and made my way quickly down the hill. The smell of the sugary sweet blood became almost intoxicating as I grew closer.

At the bottom of the hill sat a small cabin, made of brown wood. The front of the house which sat before me had two large glass windows, one of them which looks as though it has been shattered. To my right sat a small black car parked on the side of the road across from the house, its four-way lights were flashing in the dark of the night illuminating the dirt road, they were the only lights on the street.

The house was dark but I could see rustling movement coming from inside when suddenly a woman's voice called out, a voice filled with fear. I know that sound, fear; oh how I've heard it so many times before.

I could hear muffled voices from inside. She was screaming now, in pain. I could smell the human blood even stronger, but there was something else I could smell inside too, something familiar.

At this point, I wasn't sure if it was the blood drawing me in closer to the house or the women who needed help calling from inside - maybe, just maybe it was the faintest idea of being able to do something good for once. Whatever it was, I was now standing on the front steps of the house outside of her door and only the soft yellow glow of a lamp illuminated the silhouette of a man leaning on top of her.

"Just kill me." I heard her voice whimper, and before I could stop myself I was inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, 
> 
> I’m really not sure if anyone is going to read this on here. This book is an original and is not part of any fandom and it is not a fanfic. It is simply a vampire romance novel. Well it is more than that, but I guess you’ll have to read it to find out ;) 
> 
> However, I do have an actual plot and story line and I do know how I want this book to end.
> 
> If you do read, feel free to leave comments I love feedback and constructive criticism! I hope you enjoy it, if you’d like to read it on another platform it is posted on Wattpad as well,
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/565344497?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_reading&wp_page=reading_part_end&wp_uname=OceanaLaidlaw&wp_originator=uuiqdLWHKU22vEzX%2BZSAKPNtEXZCs8tuse%2FyJRCEPd71dpL5ddpq57kHSlOfQ%2B9uGtwvm5VqjCkbp6vooMI%2FCvfkbU3ykzMCryI8npliKuK7vrJni%2Fju5akeW43ZC7sQ


	2. Chapter 2

**Renessa**

"Okay, goodnight," I say as I hang up the phone with my boyfriend Damien. I set down the phone on the end table beside the grey sectional in the corner of my living room.

As I sat down on my sofa I let out a long sigh, I missed him.

Well, kind of. I missed the feeling of having someone else around, having a warm body to intertwine myself in at night as the wind grew cold and the sky darkened. I miss the fresh scent of his cologne and the smell of saw dust on his clothes, having someone to talk to but the more I think of it the more I come to understand I don't miss him exactly, I miss the feeling of just having someone else around.

I can't even seem to remember the last time we ended our phone call with an I love you. Those words seemed so far away yet they lingered at the tip of my tongue. Being with Damien, unfortunately, meant being alone and I've gotten quite used to that feeling, Damien is usually away. 

He is a businessman, after all. 

He works for his father's logging company and they have locations all over the province of British Columbia so he's always travelling on important business errands and meetings. I mean, at least that's what he tells me they are and even though I know my feelings for Damien aren't the same as they used to be, I still loved him I just wasn't entirely in love with him. 

Still, somehow the thought of his arms being wrapped around another woman created a small pit in the bottom of my stomach, just deep enough that it kept me holding on - to what I'm not sure, but it felt like fraying ropes.

Damien and I were childhood friends. He was the definition of the boy next door, he literally was my neighbour.

We started off as good friends, we hung out and had playdates all the time because our parents were friends. It was as if fate had thrown us together. We stuck by each other's side in high school and then during the grade 9 semi-formal dance he had asked me to be his girlfriend. It was the most exciting day of my life - fast forward a few years and we are at prom; we won prom King and Queen.

I've been with Damien for 6 years but something changed after we moved to Port Alice. When he became part of his father's company things really started to feel different with his new attitude, his new car and this new tattoo that he for some reason won't tell me about and. 

I feel as though we have grown more apart than ever these last two years. Maybe it's just me overthinking, or maybe it's just that our spark is truly gone. It's difficult to figure these things out on your own when your boyfriend is rarely around but honestly, I've gotten so used to being alone that it's not so bad that he isn't and I'm beginning to think that's saying something.

I shake off my anxieties about my relationship as I breathe out a long sigh. Before I decide to get comfy for the night and curl up on my bed I need to go take a shower and wash away the thoughts that have so quickly consumed my mind after tonight's phone call. I walk up to the crooked wooden staircase that leads to the second floor, each stair squeaking beneath me on my way up.

Once the shower reaches my desired temperature and the mirror starts to fog over, I step in. I close my eyes while washing my hair and begin to sing. The lyrics of a pretty reckless song escape my lips. I hum to myself some parts and others I sing, I sing and I feel a slight stinging pain in my chest as some of the words hit close to home. I continue though, washing my hair as I lean my head back.

" _Taste me drink my soul_

_Show me all the things that I shouldn't know_

_When there's a blue moon on the rise -"_

My voice catches in my throat as I jump slightly, startled. I drop the bar of soap I had been holding when I hear a loud banging sound coming from outside. I stood there in silence as the water washed over me, my chest rising up and down faster than before but oddly it felt like I was in slow motion. I stood still, not moving anything but my right hand as I reached around behind me and began slowly turning the knob to the shower all the way to the right. 

The water shut off with a small squeak and everything was quiet again, except for the few stray drips from the shower head that seemed much louder than usual. 

I reach down and pick up the soap and gently place it back on the ledge of the tub. I was breathing as quietly as possible now, not wanting to make a sound. I shouldn't be as frightened as I am right now, but there was never anyone around here, nobody is living within miles of this place. 

I try to convince myself that it was just an animal, a raccoon, I think. I jump back again as I try not to slip, my hand flying up to steady myself against the wall when another large bang comes from outside. 

I open the shower curtain and get out as quickly as possible as I wrap the white towel I had sitting on the countertop around my cold, wet body. Soap drips down my legs as I walk and my hair that is soaked with water drips its way down my spine. Drip. Drip. Drip. 

Slowly, I turn the brass doorknob and open the door as quietly as I can. I take a quick peek over the railing of the stairs. I don't see any movement or anyone for that matter and it's quiet again. Maybe I'm just imagining things, or maybe it is just an animal outside. Damien always says I overreact and overthink everything, maybe I do. 

After a few moments I let out a sigh of relief as the quiet set in again and the noises I thought I heard before seemed like a figment of my imagination. I make my way down the stairs as my breathing begins to steady making my way to the kitchen to blow out the candles I had left burning before I head to bed. 

I blow out the two candles in the dining room, leaving it eerily dark with just the one flickering flame left on the coffee table in the living room. As I grab my cell phone beside the couch,I reach over to try and close the curtains before heading back upstairs when I see 4 flashing lights down my long driveway and across the road near the forest, a car with its four- ways on. 

"What in the world?"I find myself saying out loud.

I take a quick glance around and suddenly I notice the silhouettes of three men outside my door in the dark. I gasp as I stumble back, the noise I made startling myself as I bring my hand up quickly to cover my mouth. 

I continue to back away from the window slowly, trying not to move the curtains anymore than I just did as I quickly take my other hand away. 

I crouch down beside the side table and take out my phone, my brain seems to fog over when I remember I have no cell service out here. My hands are shaking as I place my cell on the wooden floor beside me, I try to settle my hand as Ireach up to grab my landline phone. I'm able to pick it up but my hands which still are slightly wet lose their grip and the phone loudly thumps against the floor, sliding a couple of feet away from me.

I let out a muffled groan, angry at myself for letting it slip out of my grip. Asmall curse escapes my lips as I try to calm down. My chest felt heavy, my breathing was suddenly more apparent than before and it felt like even that was too loud.

Three heavy knocks are banged upon my door, I cover my mouth with my hand and try not to make a sound as a pang of fear overcomes me and my chest clenched tightly. I can feel myself shaking, my body is still not able to calm as I lean back on my heels and rest the back of my head against the wall, the water from my hair continues to make its way slowly down my back. 

My lips tremble as I find myself wondering why there would be three men here at this hour, 12:30 am on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere, forty minutes from the main town. 

The worst part was it was blatantly clear that somebody was home once you stepped foot in my driveway you could see my Volkswagon van and the flickering flame of the candle perched on top of the coffee table that created just enough light for them to see inside through the slightly opened curtain.

My heart ached for Damien to be here right now as I try to convince myself that maybe they just need help. I sit, my body still trembling as I'm wrapped in nothing but my towel, soap still dripping down me as my brain tries to find some way to rationalize what is happening but as they continue to bang on my door there is no way I'm moving a single bone in my body, something just felt wrong.

For a brief moment, it's silent and I try to catch my breath. Startling me again, three more heavy knocks are banged upon my door but this time followed by a deep voice of a man.

"Hello...We know you're home!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Renessa**

The knocks continue, harder and harder each time and I can hear the man's voices outside, hushed now but angry nonetheless. 

My body is unable to stop itself from shivering as I sit curled up on the hard, wooden floor shaking from fear and the cold, dampness of my skin. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to slow my breathing. 

I know if I get up the courage to move I could grab the phone and run upstairs, I try to convince myself I can do it but for some reason, I'm frozen. I just need them to leave. I never would've thought this would happen, not here. I specifically left the city to stay away from things like this.

The men outside begin cursing now, their harsh words ringing in my ears as one man in particular sounds extremely irritated and angry. The same deep voice from before begins to yell, " We know you're home, it's just a matter of time now little lady."

"Got anyone else in there with ya?" The other voice asks.

Every inch of my body tenses up like a wire ready to snap from being pulled too tight as I hear some muffled whispers and then some shouting. 

It becomes quiet for a moment which makes me even more scared for some reason. I feel like I can't move, as if I can and never move again like if I hold my breath long enough I may just stay frozen in time this way forever. I try to sit as still as possible thinking of what the most rational thing to do is, the landline is so close yet so far away yet the thought of reaching out to grab it seemed impossible. 

The eerie quiet that began to fill the room raised goosebumps across my wet, cold skin. I stay crouched down beside the couch balancing on my feet as I breathe in slowly, holding my breath for as long as I can before having to inhale again.

It's been silent for a minute or so now and I begin to feel a sense of relief wash over me, I finally build up the nerve to slowly reach out and pick up the landline once again, this time wiping my hands dry on my towel first. 

Maybe they finally left. 

My hand grips the phone just as the window behind me shatters abruptly and a gust of cold October wind gushes in quickly. Shards of glass graze my face and the candle goes out, I squeeze my eyes shut hoping nothing gets in them as I fling myself away from the window and let out a scream. 

I try hard to push myself up off my knees but no sooner than I stood my ground my knees buckle when my feet are met with a stinging cold crunch of broken glass beneath me.Stumbling now, but I manage to catch myself on the edge of the side table as I pull myself up and try to run but before I can even move my feet my hair is yanked back by a pair of strong hands. 

I try to pull away as I reach back behind my head and grip my hands around his, with no luck unclasping his grasp I open my eyes and let go of his hands I lower myself and duck underneath his arms with his hands still gripping my hair as I turn around to face my attacker.

Two others stand behind the man with his hands entangled in my hair, one of them holding a lantern allowing me to see.The first thing I notice is just how tall the man before me is, his arms are barely even raised as he yanks my hair, his eerie demeanour towering over me at about 6 foot 2. 

He's wearing what seems to be a dark grey hoodie and black jeans with combat boots, a small glimmer of silver catches my eye and it happens to look like a pocket knife in his left jean pocket. He looks tired from what I can see in the dim light, the grease from his hair seems to run down his face and onto his neck. His nostrils flared with every breath and I could see the anger manifesting inside of him, he looked beastly.

Two other men stood behind him, on top of the glass shattered on my living room floor. The one-man looked quite tall and slender, yet shorter than the man in front of me.

The slender man looked uncomfortable in his own skin, his shoulders slightly slouched forward. He is also wearing a hoodie, a black hoodie with ripped jeans. His hood is up, hiding most of his slender yet sunken face. 

The third man was quite large and was wearing a ripped, battered up t-shirt on top of sweatpants. Sweat drips down the side of his forehead and down his plump, pale cheek. His face looks full of stubble and he has bushy eyebrows, like caterpillars sitting above his creepy, round eyes.

I stood there in shock, fear taking over my whole body and my adrenaline kicking in. I raise my knee up but before I can connect it to his body, he swings his arms down taking my hair with it and smashes his elbow against my thigh. My leg falls limply towards the ground.

I cry out in pain, trying to catch my breath as I look back up at him. "Let go of me now!" I yell in his face as I struggle to remove his hands once again from my hair.

I'm not sure if it is because of how big this man is, but his strength was almost superhuman. I could feel my skull aching from my hair being pulled so tightly from his firm grasp, I wanted to cry. Tears formed at the bottom of my eyes but I held them back and put on a brave face as the men laughed at me.

"Look at her," the tall slender man said, "how pathetic."

I scoff at them.

"What do you want!" I cry out, my voice trembling. My legs felt weak beneath me but the more I grew weak, the harder he grabbed onto my hair.

"Well, we were looking for a friend of ours. We thought maybe he'd be around but we got you instead." The man says, "But I'm not gonna complain, look at ya." He smiles, looking me up and down. A creepy, disgusting smile that stirs every bit of acid in my stomach making me want to puke.

"What...what?" I try to say but my throat is so dry the words can't seem to leave my mouth, my mind is reeling so fast I can barely make out their faces now as my eyes water and become blurry.

" You...you.." I try to say something again but tears are streaming down my face now as reality sets in. I'm suddenly very aware of the fact I'm standing in front of three angry men in nothing but a towel. I can barely get out the words I want to say as I become faint.

"Please take whatever you want, j-just leave m-me alone."

"L-leave y-you alone?" He laughs, mocking me. "I knew I didn't smell any V-hunters here, boys."

"V-hunters? W-what are..." I try to speak, my throat still so dry and my mind reeling wondering who in the world they would be looking for at my house. "Answer..a-answer me!"

The man removes his hands from my hair and my neck momentarily goes limp, I sigh in relief when suddenly his fist hits the side of my face knocking me down to the ground. Blood oozes out of my broken lips and my face hits the floor.

"Can't listen to her goddamn stutter all night." He scoffs. The other men behind him laugh and agree.

A gurgle comes out of my throat as I try to speak, my lips ache as I open them to say something but all I can taste is the metallic flavour of blood.

"John, go find her purse, wallet, safe, anything. Take her money, take all of it." The man standing above me says, his voice deep and angry. "Lester won't be happy if we come back empty-handed again."

"Got it, Asher." John huffs before walking towards the kitchen.

I try to roll over and sit back up as I wipe the blood off my mouth onto my forearm.

I lock eyes with the man, Asher, above me as the blood smears across my face onto my arm, his gaze is unimpressed as he just looks at me, his dark eyes glistening from the oil lamp the other man placed on the floor.

Before I could even do anything else he stomps his heavy black combat boot down onto the calf of my leg and I scream in agony as I feel the treads push into my skin, crashing my leg against the floor.

"Don't move." he spits, his heel digging in deeper. "Now, tell me. Do you know a man named Malakai?"

The name Malakai sounded oddly familiar to me, I can't for the life of me seem to remember why. All I can think about is getting away from these men. 

As I take a second to think, the man who I presume is John searches my house, the third man follows as they search through the drawers and cupboards in the kitchen before making their way upstairs.

"No..." I say through swollen lips but clearly, that wasn't the answer he wanted to hear. I let out another cry as he digs his heel deeper down into my leg. I know there is no use screaming, there isn't anyone around here for miles. No one will hear me.

He continues to look at me, as if waiting for me to change my mind or to miraculously remember a man whom I don't know. 

"No," I state firmly again as my mind races with questions.

"Well then, since you're of no use to me. You've seen and heard too much now.." He trails off, " What am I going to do with you?" He ponders for a moment before giving me a smug grin. 

He leans down over top of me, the weight of his body heavy as he bends both his knees into my thighs. He reaches down and pulls out the pocket knife that I had noticed before and flips it open. 

"Get off me!" I scream. I try to bring my arm up and throw a punch at him but he slices a cut down my arm with his knife.

"Try me again and the next time I cut you it will be your throat." His words burn through me, causing me to remember a night, not too long ago that I worked so hard to forget. A night so terrifying, so traumatizing that I had to move from my hometown to get away from it. The night my parents died. A glimmer of a blue moon flickering behind the swaying branches of the trees. My mothers screams. Blood. 

I shove the flashbacks away as I quickly lower my arm, knowing it's best to comply as I hold back the lump in my throat that is begging to be released in a burst of tears and wallows. 

Fear washes over me as I realize that I am most likely about to die. They are going to kill me and no one will know, no one will find me for days, weeks even. Who knows when Damien will return from work this time, in my case, much too late.

Asher uses his left hand to hold my arm down and his knees dig hard into my thighs to keep me from moving.

I try to squirm out of his grip but he is too strong. I lay there motionless, paralyzed in fear as he takes the knife, lifting up my towel and trails it down my stomach. He pushes it into my skin not too deep but just enough to slice it open, he continues trailing the sharp blade down to my button and then he stops. I cry as the blade leaves a slow agonizing burn. 

The realization that I am now exposed is utterly humiliating. My hands ball up into fists, my nails digging into the palm of my hands. I thrash my arms and try to shake my legs but his heavy body still presses down on top of them. 

"Get off me, please!" I scream out, but the cut down my stomach and my arm burns as my skin tears with every movement, my swollen lips cracked and covered with dry blood burn with each word, and sting with each salty tear that lands upon them. I feel hopeless, utterly hopeless. 

Suddenly there's a loud bang from upstairs and I just know that they found it, my safe. They come hurtling down the stairs, cash in their hands.

"We got it." One of the men said.

"Well, looks like I gotta finish the job now."

The two men standing at the foot of my stairs smirk at Asher. My heart sinks knowing that's my parents' money, my savings but there's nothing I can do about that now.

"Don't stop on our account, we just hit the jackpot." The man holding the cash laughs. "Lester should give us some more time now."

He turns back to face me, putting his knife up to my neck I wince as he pushes the blade of the knife into my soft flesh. I try not to move but as I lock eyes with him I manage to whimper out a plea.

"Just kill me."

I shut my eyes and feel the pressure of his hand deepen the blade harder into my delicate skin. I was ready now, I felt ready to die. I was okay. I was going to be okay — I would see my parents again. I let my body relax momentarily, trying to find some peace in this when suddenly I hear a crash, a deep growl and then two loud thumps land amongst the floor.

Reluctantly, I open my eyes only to see two strong hands around the neck of my attacker who's still knelt on top of me. 

A tall stranger stands behind him, his dark silhouette just a flicker of a shadow from the lamp. His hands twist around the man's neck and then.... ** _snap_**.


	4. Chapter 4

**XAVIER**

The woman's scream  pierces through the air as she watches her attacker fall to the floor. I step over his body slowly and try to walk towards her. When I step over him I notice a symbol on his neck, a familiar mark I had seen before. It’s a clan tattoo and suddenly I know exactly who these men belong to, Lester. The leader of a werewolf pack close by, they live just at the outskirts of Port Alice the sunnier side and as far away from us and to put it in their words - “bloodsuckers”. 

Personally, I didn’t have any problems with wolves, except for these three. My kind, we hardly spoke to werewolves and if we ever crossed their paths we just looked the other way. We didn’t spite one another, we respected each other as much as we could but we weren’t exactly allies either. 

However, with the current circumstances, I can guarantee once Roman hears that they tried to kill a mortal all of that would change rather quickly. I refocus my attention on the girl in front of me, the smell of her blood drawing me in. I shake the thought of blood lust as I remember my oath - Animals only. 

“Who are you?” She croaks out “You- you killed them….” her voice comes out as a whisper as she sits up quickly pushing herself back along the wooden floor. She looks at me, her expression full of fear but what also seems to be a bit of relief as her attackers lay lifeless on the floor before her. Before, all I could smell was her blood. It was so strong, so alluring I didn’t even notice before the musty, wet dog smell of the men...well, werewolves that lay beneath me until I was inside. 

“My name is Xavier,” I say, my voice gentle as I try not to frighten her any further. A large gash is stricken across the delicate skin of her stomach, bleeding out and far too deep of a gash to heal on its own. She tries to cover it with her towel but the blood is beginning to seep through. 

I know I can't leave her like this. I know I can heal her if she drinks my blood, that is just one of the few gifts we have being undead. It seems to be one of the only good things that we can do. Our blood will heal humans if we let them have it but if they are to die with vampire blood in their systems they will turn into one of us. I want to heal her, I want to help the girl but I have to stay away. 

If I stand too close thoughts of ripping her apart and ravishing in every lost drop of her would consume me. The smell of her blood is already so poignant in the air, filling my nose with a scent that I’ve missed so much. Yet her scent was so...different. Different from the other humans and I can almost taste the flavour in my mouth….figs and brown sugar. I clench my fists together, my nails digging hard into my hand as I feel my veins pulse relentlessly. 

The look on her face only confirms that giving her my blood is not an option right now. “Who are you?” She stops for a moment and mutters out my name. “ Xavier.” 

Without having a chance to respond she speaks again.

“How did you…?” She asks her eyes glancing over to the door and then to the dead men on the floor as she shakily places her hands over her bleeding stomach. 

She winces in pain and she applies pressure to her wound. I inch forward without thinking and I reach out to help her up. She swiftly moves back away again stubbornly, as she tries to stand up on her own, her bloody arm smearing a red stain along with her towel. She gets up and backs away from me as her legs wobble, seemingly about to give out beneath her as she shakes with fear. 

“I live in Vancouver, I’m just visiting Port Alice with some friends,” I say, trying to sound convincing. I move quickly now towards her as I reach out to catch her and balance her on her feet. She looks at me with a flash of terror beaming in her eyes as she backs herself up against the wall. 

“How did you get here? I'm the only house on the road.” She questions sternly. 

“You should be thanking me, I just saved your life. It doesn’t matter how I got here.” 

“Yes, it does.” She argues. 

“Fine, since you insist on knowing.” I let out a frustrated sigh, “However unimportant it may seem to me, I was camping with a few friends just a bit of the way out like I said I'm visiting. ” I lie. “And I heard the sound of shattered glass and you screaming. I followed the noise here and saw the car out on the road.” 

“Oh...okay.” She breathes out, her face flinches and her nose scrunches up as she tries to sound like she believes me but the look on her face says otherwise, she’s skeptical

“Those men they, they....” she wasn’t able to get the words out as tears now streamed down her face.

I could tell she was truly in pain, I tried to empathize with her but I haven’t felt human emotion in years, many years now and when you’re like me healing was easy, it happened fast and pain never lasted very long. I couldn’t quite remember what it felt like to be human and feel real pain but I tried. I wish Jaxon was here, or that I could read her thoughts myself but I know well enough what horrid, awful things must be replaying in her mind. Dark matter. 

I look at her and realize her eyes are glazed over from all her tears, it was hard to tell but from what I could see it looked as though her eyes were two different colours. They were interesting eyes for a human and for a moment I forgot why I was standing in front of her,  _ the eyes are the window to the soul _ my Father always told me - that is how you know when you find the one  _ that's how I found your mother,  _ his familiar but long-forgotten voice echoes through my head. How could that have been so long ago? 

I was only 18 when my father had told me that story. The fact that over a century has passed pained me briefly as a fogged vision of my father’s face formed in my memory but then the feeling passed on quickly and effortlessly. I could always tell if someone was a good person by how their eyes were, eyes are the windows to our souls.

I can feel the tension in the air now as her eyes locked with mine, wide and doe-like. I can sense how nervous and scared the girl is. Her shaky hands wrapped around her body holding her towel in place. Her eyes bouncing back and forth from mine and the lifeless bodies of her attackers on the floor. It was only seconds but it felt like minutes I had stared into her eyes. 

“I'm going to help you..” I say softly as I try to take a step towards her. “Please, let me patch you up.” 

“I don’t even know you. How am I supposed to trust you!?” She said loudly, almost yelling at me. The girl was starting to lose it now, “Stay back! Don’t you dare come near me!” 

“You’re bleeding….a lot. Let me help you, do you have a first aid kit?” 

“Y-yes. I’ll get it. Please, just leave.” She says quietly, her anger decreasing as she realizes the extent of her injuries. She lifts her hand to her face seeing the bruises that were now starting to form across her aching knuckles. Her expression reflected just how uneasy she began to feel and I can only imagine it was from the burning reality of the events that occurred only a few minutes ago. She squeezes past me quickly making her way to the phone on the floor, she picks it up and goes to dial 911. She hits the first button.

“You have three dead men on your living room floor,” I state. She stops in her tracks, hesitates as she looks at me, then pushes down the one.

“Listen, let me help you. It will take 40 minutes or more for anyone else to even get out here.”

“Just leave. I’ll be fine, honestly. I don’t need some man coming in here and saving me like I'm some damsel in distress-” 

I cut her off, “If I do recall properly, just moments ago you were in distress-,” 

“Get out of my house,” she yells, cutting me off. Her finger hits the same button again on the phone when a small droplet of blood makes its way down the side of the phone from the slash that has been oozing down her arm. “I don’t even know you, you expect me to trust you?” She scoffs, The numbers are dialled in but she has yet to press the green button. 

“No,” I said blatantly. “It would be entirely foolish of you to trust a stranger. From what I can tell, you’re not the kind of person to be so trusting, understandably so. However, you have a broken window and you’re bleeding out. I'm not leaving you.” I respond to her. 

“You’re right. I don’t trust you, I saw you kill them... how did you- I don’t understand!” She stops and looks at me almost frightened again. 

“I saved you.”

“You snapped their necks, you killed them in seconds. That takes strength...” She stood taller now, lifting her chin up slightly as if to stand her ground but before she could continue asking questions before she continued to grow more curious, I'm at her side within seconds with my hand gently placed on top of hers as I slipped the phone away from her. Her eyes widen and her face grows pale, stunned. I'm worried about exposing myself for a moment, knowing she’s probably confused as to what she just saw but I know she won't remember any of this in a mere matter of seconds. 

I look into her eyes, standing much closer to her now I realize that they are in fact different colours one an emerald green and the other a striking seafoam blue. 

My voice is soft and calm when I speak to the girl like it always is when I used compulsion, “Listen...Okay? You are okay now.” She looks away from me, dropping her arm to her side. Unusual, but not an issue as I take my index finger under her chin and connect our gaze once more. 

“Look at me,” I say softly, trying to ease her mind. Ryker was always better at this than I was. It was hard trying to be so kind to her when the scent of her blood made my skin burn, my veins pumped so hard and it was almost impossible to hold myself back when my finger made contact with her skin, her neck was right there. 

I never had this problem when I was around other people, their blood became normal to me, undesirable from afar and it would take a large enough wound to really draw me in but this, this was something indescribable and maybe the long-forgotten urge was from the fact she was already bleeding but I couldn't be sure. 

All I know is I can see her carotid artery moving, I can feel her pulse through my fingertip sending jolts of poison like venom through my veins up into my fangs as if begging me to sink my teeth into her. 

I could but I won't. Where we were now standing had allowed the lamp to cast more light onto her and it revealed the girl's lips, lips that were plump and swollen and covered in ruby red blood. Her blood was drying into brown splotches, her collar bones smeared with more stains just before the contrasting white cotton of her towel. 

I can’t quite wrap my head around the fact that I'm standing in front of this girl wanting nothing more than to completely rip her neck out when she just suffered through this tragedy of a night already and yet I couldn’t stop my thoughts, her lips were sore and bloody but I just wanted to lick it off of them, the urge to devour her must be because her blood was more intoxicating of a scent than most.

I shook the uncalled-for thoughts away again and though the scent of her blood pulsed through my aching veins I held back my animal-like instincts and restrained myself as Roman had taught me.

I inched closer now and for a moment I felt selfish. Selfish because I almost don't want to let her forget this night, for some reason something inside me told me not to, something inside was telling me that she somehow was important, that I needed to get to know this girl but more than ever the other part of my brain was telling me to just do it - taste her. I couldn’t be selfish though and even though my insides were scorching, sweltering like a fire waiting to be put out; extinguished with something only she could provide but I wanted her to forget her pain. I want her to forget them. 

I have to erase her memory. 

Being able to compel humans into forgetting was just another gift we have and maybe it's a good thing too. For us anyway but not always for humans. In her case, however, this was for the better. She looks scared, confused and unsure. Her wet damp hair was messy and tangled around her face. I hesitate for a moment but then speak as I look deeply into her eyes, locking our gaze.

“Tomorrow, you will wake up and you won't remember anything from tonight except that you were having a peaceful shower and a relaxing sleep listening to thunder and rain. In the morning you will remember your window being broken from a tree branch, there was a thunderstorm and the strong winds blew a couple of branches off the tree. Your wounds will be healed. You won't remember their faces, you won't remember the darkness.” I say, my voice is soft and almost low enough to be a whisper. 

“What?” She asks, a look of utter confusion washing over her as she inches back. 

Shock crosses over me as I realize my compulsion must have failed to work on her. Her body tenses up even more as she reaches swiftly to steal the phone back out of my hand, my reflexes weren’t as quick for my brain was trying to come up with some sort of explanation for what just happened. I’ve never failed at compelling someone before, this response was foreign to me. I take a step back pondering what I was going to do next.

“What are you doing?” She asks, continuing to step away slowly as a concerning amount of blood continues to spread across her towel, she nearly hits the green button on the phone as she says “what are you trying to-?” 

Without even thinking, without hesitation I cut her off by biting into my wrist and placing it against her mouth swiftly, giving her my blood. Seeing as my compulsion didn’t work means she isn't going to forget tonight and she isn't going to forget me. I could’ve heeled her just before she forgot but now I have no other choice, I can’t wait for a second longer. Any longer and she could bleed out or worse die, die at my own doing because I could barely hold myself back and if any more blood seeped through her towel I’d more than likely lose my self-control.

My mind begins to race with the endless possibilities of why the compulsion did not work, for a moment my brain stumbles onto the impossible question-  _ what is she _ ? It wasn’t worth wondering right now though, it didn’t seem likely that the girl was anything at all, I’m sure if she was she would’ve sensed those men werewolves. 

For now, though I can't do anything else, not until I get Jaxon and Ryker here to try and compel her into forgetting again, hoping that it’ll work from one of them. 

I’ve never met a human that couldn't be compelled before. The blood from my wrist drips into her mouth as I hold her head into place, her eyes stare at me wide with shock as she tries to pull away. A nauseating feeling rises in my gut as a vision creeps up in my mind, a memory from the past and for a moment I feel sick for forcing her to do this, for giving her my blood without her consent and for a brief moment I feel regret, but I know deep down that this is for her own good. 

Her blood, her excruciating sweet, sugar-like, god awful- painfully intoxicating scent of blood smelled so good I just wanted to dig into her neck and drink every last drop that remained in her body. I held her head with my hand, holding her close to prevent her from pulling away. We stood nearly a few inches apart and I could feel my entire body pulsing, burning still the flames unable to be put out. I inhale deeply stopping myself from what my body is so hungrily aching to do, I have to remember how far I've come,  _ who _ I've become. I'm not the monster I used to be. 

_ I'm not the Monster I used to be.  _

Her mismatched eyes looked at me with anger and fear, the bottom brimmed with tears as she tried to push me away with all her strength but I didn't budge and I could hear her trying to scream, pleading asking for me to stop but her moans were gargled with my blood. Soon, her arm that was once slashed open slowly began to heal, her skin closing up like invisible stitches were being pulled through, leaving nothing but dry blood upon a smooth, flawless arm. Her swollen lips are now returning to her normal size as I pull my wrist away from her mouth, which still seemed full and sweet. Her bruises are fading. Her stomach, which is unseen, covered by the white fabric of her towel will become soft and delicate again without a trace of the night’s previous assault. 

My blood dripped off her mouth like juice from a fresh cherry. She stares at me for a moment, her hand wrapped around my arm still trying to push me away. She looks at her arm and as she lets go of me and I back away. The girl reaches down to feel her stomach beneath her towel, the colour in her face slowly fades as she looks back and our eyes meet. 

“What...what just happened?” She asks, “Xavier?” My name escapes her lips in the form of a question as she breathes out heavily, almost as if her breath is slipping away and she’s trying to catch back up to it. 

Suddenly, her eyes flutter shut and just as her body goes limp I catch her in my arms.


	5. Chapter 5

**RENESSA**

My mind slowly tells my body to wake up as I roll over and rub my eyes that seem to be swollen shut, almost as if I had been crying all night.   


I sit up in what seems to be a bed and brush the tangled hair out of my face as I continue to slowly open my aching eyelids. I reach my hands down to pull off the blanket, a blanket that interestingly doesn’t feel like mine. Nothing like mine at all, in fact I know it isn't mine. My eyes jolt open, my vision being consumed by the darkness of the room. 

Once they come into focus I can see more now but not much as the shapes and outlines of furniture are being illuminated only by a small, dimly lit lamp on the mahogany night table beside me. I'm certain now, that wherever I was, I was very far from home. My body tenses as my fingers squeeze the soft fur of the blanket that lays upon my bare legs. 

Suddenly, I'm hit with a gut-wrenching recollection of last night's events and before I can even fully comprehend the fact that I was no longer in my own home, my head began spinning, blurry visions and sounds spun around as if my mind had just been put inside a washing machine. Grey, swirling recollections of last night pounded in my head and then I heard their voices again. My body jolted as I bring my hands up, covering my ears. The sounds of the men shouting, a flickering candle, glass shattering, a gust of cold wind, a knife, blood- so much blood and then  _ him _ .

The man that saved me, or so I thought until I remember he tried tricking me, convincing me that none of that had ever happened as if I'd just forget- as if he was a witch casting a spell while he looked at me with his dark eyes. His strangely soothing deep voice, his soft cold hands that somehow provided me warmth in such a horrific crime scene that was my living room floor and then his blood being shoved- no, forced down my throat and somehow healing every inch of my body that was once slashed, sliced and bruised.

My mind had no answers. 

The taste of something metallic lingered still in my mouth - on my tongue and in my cheeks, blood. His blood. My stomach churns, a burning sensation rising in my throat and saliva now building up beneath my tongue urging me to hurl. 

I steady myself as my feet hit the ground, unbalanced as I make my way towards the door across from me hoping to get out of here and fast. I twist the antique brass knob of the large wooden door and it squeaks as it opens. Assuming that this place, wherever I am, was where the man was staying makes me wince at the sound of the door knowing now that he would hear me. I look up and there he is. 

_ Xavier. _

My body freezes and stands still as my bones and muscles seize to help me. My brain is useless as it sends no words to my mouth, no screams, nothing. I stand there, looking at him then glancing down at my cold legs just now realizing I'm wearing a large dark green button-down shirt that hangs just low enough to cover my backside. My hands grab at the front of the fabric and I pull down on it, I look back up to the tall man looming over me as my cheeks flush red with embarrassment and anger at the same time. 

“Good-morning,” he says, his face emotionless and pale.

I could see his eyes now and they were light brown and it was that familiar shade of brown, the same shade of brown my dad had. Brown just light enough that when the light hit them it looked like root beer, which was odd because even though it was pretty dark last night I could've sworn they were jet-black. 

His face scrunched up slightly when I didn’t respond to him, I just stood there staring as my brain became my worst enemy, declining to help me and refusing to send any sort of neurotransmitter signals to my nerve cells.

“Listen,” he speaks and his deep, silky voice startled me, “I’m sorry but I couldn’t leave you at your house. Not after that disaster.” He takes a small step forward and I quickly take a step back in response. He then steps back too, his body moving quickly and he sucks in a quick breath and his nose scrunches and his jaw clenches, as If I smell repulsive. 

For a minute he sounds genuine, but all my mind could muster up was that he was more than likely a lunatic. He could kill me and my mind instantly replayed every single horror movie I had ever seen and I was now surely convinced he could totally be a psychopath, a murderer or an even witch or someone who plays with dark magic because my brain still couldn't wrap around the fact that this man healed me, and I saw it with my own eyes. I felt it, it was real. 

Though I couldn't stop myself from thinking of the many possible outcomes, the endless possibilities of how I might die, how he could kill me but then the visions come to a staggering halt as I remember that he saved me from those men last night and he didn’t have too. 

He didn’t have to and yet he did, and even though what he did terrified me, it was surely not nearly as terrifying as those men in my house just hours ago. I trace my fingers along my forearm, remembering where the blood once oozed out. The churning in my stomach returns at the thought, and before I know it I hunch over forward and hurl. 

He sighs and without a word, he takes my arm and leads me down the hall. Not long after, I step out of the shower. 

The scent of everything that my body had just rejected was now gone and the warmth of mahogany and teak wood lingered on me as I had no other choice of body wash. I was shaky, frightened still even though Xavier had been nothing but kind so far, my heart still raced in my chest not sure of what my next move should be, how I could escape or get out of here without him seeing. 

The next question was: where was I and how was I going to get back home? 

A black duffle bag sat on the floor just in front of the bathroom door, I wrap the towel around me tightly and made my way over. This seemed slightly suspicious but as I got closer I realized the familiarity of the bag, it was mine. I unzip it and to my surprise, I realize it's filled with my clothes. 

I adjust the burgundy sweater I was now wearing and tuck it into my jeans as I make my way into what seems to be the kitchen, my black boots clicking along the hardwood floor as the duffle bag draped over my right arm. My hair was still damp sticking against the back of my neck, the chill of fall air filled the room as I walked by an open window sending a shiver along the back of my neck and down my arms. I stop in my tracks, turning on my heel to spin around - an open window.

Now was my chance, I had a way to escape. No overthinking, no questions, no looking back.  I couldn't look back not even if I wanted answers, not even if the man who brought me here was so intriguing, so terrifying and yet so calming that it made you almost want to stay.  The sky outside was grey, gloomy and wet and the air felt damp and heavy. We were more than likely to get a storm today or tomorrow with how things were looking. I had always seemed to have a sixth sense for these kinds of things too, even as a child. My mother always told me she thought I had a special connection to the earth, to nature as if I could feel the way it was feeling. 

Either way, the storm didn't matter to me. I needed to get home to get out of here and a little bit of rain wasn’t going to stop me. My heart pounded in my chest and without a second thought, I hurried over to the large window and just as I duck down and stick my leg up and over the window sill I felt a strong hand grip my right arm pulling me back inside the house. The duffle bag slides off my arm as he releases his grip and lands hard against the floor. 

“What do you think you're doing?” He asks, his voice furious as he slams the window shut and turns to place his hands on both my arms now, holding me in place. 

I stood there frozen and in awe at how his tone had just drastically changed from this morning, from soft and calm to deep and frightful. 

“I-” I try to muster out a single word, formulate a coherent sentence, an actual thought but my tongue stumbles on the words as I face him. I fold my arms, reaching up to grip his hands and try to pry them off me and to my surprise, he lets go without a problem, he even takes a step back a couple actually as he tenses up and looks away from me. 

I’m startled by the loud screeching sound of a kettle as Xavier runs towards the kitchen. Soon, an eerie silence replaces the noise and he is back in front of me within seconds, before I even had a chance to move. 

“I don’t want to scare you.” He mutters. 

“Well, you are,” I state, finally able to say something.

He looks almost stunned for a moment, then nods his head as he crosses his arms across his chest. His arms that I really shouldn't be looking at but I couldn't help but notice just how large and muscular they were as they flexed when pressed against his chest. 

_ I should be looking at his eyes _ . Dark veins from his wrist bulge gently through his skin nearing his elbows. His right arm is covered in tattoos, wrapping around his bicep down to his forearm reaching just below his wrist. One, in particular, stood out amongst the rest, a single-stemmed black rose. 

I meet Xavier’s eyes once more as he begins talking and shortly my reasoning for him being anything but kind fades again as he tells me he understands that I'm scared, that he couldn’t possibly imagine all the things I've been thinking from waking up somewhere other than my own bed, the fresh memories of last night and his blood. He was well aware of what he had done with his blood. 

“How did you heal me with your...your blood?” 

He didn’t respond. “Tell me, now,” I demanded, growing frustrated.” After all, you did force it down my throat.” 

Even though he seemed calm and collected I wanted to stand my ground. His pale skin contrasted the dark black, curly hair that framed his face as he stood there, just staring at me as if he was still waiting for me to continue speaking. 

“Tell me!” I huff out, “ Tell me how you did that? How did you magically show up at the right time outside my house, how did you hear me, how did you so effortlessly and so swiftly snap those guys’ necks before I could even utter a scream?” 

“Well…” he begins but trails off, he paces for a moment and then sits down on the victorian green couch behind him. “Sure, I’ll tell you but only because soon you’ll be able to forget any of this happened anyways,” he says nonchalantly spinning a keychain with a small vial hooked onto it. It looked like it was filled with a deep navy blue liquid as he spun it loosely around his index finger, “but only If you tell me your name.”

He brings his feet up on top of the coffee table, his black combat boots creating a loud thump. 

I was confused as to how or why I would forget any of this soon, or ever for that matter unless he planned on pulling the same thing he did last night but we both know how that turned out. I was frustrated that he was acting like this, acting so calm but I wanted answers and if getting answers meant telling this man my name, then so be it. 

“Renessa. My name is Renessa and if you want to be formal about it, it’s Renessa Ray.” I couldn’t help but let my snarky attitude slip through a little bit. How dare he sit there looking at me so casually as if this was of no importance to him. 

“Well, Renessa Ray,” he chuckles, “hm, I might actually like that name. I n all my years on this earth, I can truthfully state I've never met a 'Renessa'."  He sits up straight now as the keychain stops spinning, laying flat against the palm of his hand as he clasps his hand around it. 

“My name is Xavier Augustine and I am a Vampire.” 


	6. Chapter 6

**XAVIER**

  
The shower is running in the bathroom as I finish cleaning up the girl's mess on my floor and off my shoes.   
Of course, the human had to get it on my shoes and my good combats too. The smell of it was terrible but it at the very least made her infuriatingly sweet scent fade for a brief moment, trying to stay away from her was hard and even though I stayed on the other side of the house all night I could still smell her. 

I finish washing up and throw a kettle of water on the stove to make the girl some tea, something to settle her stomach. 

After all that she had been through last night, she deserved the slightest bit of hospitality. She seemed scared witless this morning when she saw me at the door, her face grew red as she pulled down on the long green shirt that draped over her body. I hope she didn’t mind that I had put one of my shirts on her last night. I want her to know that I didn’t look at her, I left her towel on buttoning the shirt over top and then letting the towel fall to the ground leaving the girl completely covered as I rested her down onto the bed. 

I just couldn’t leave her in that bloody towel. 

The girl's towel immediately was thrown into the fireplace, letting it burn before I could even think of the things I would do to ring out any last droplets of her blood from it. The steam from the shower seeped under the doorway, her sugary scent now mixed with my mahogany and teakwood, but still, somehow her scent was stronger.

I walk to the living room and open the window, hoping to get some relief as my wrists pound and my jaw clenched. I take in a deep breath, breathing in the gust of cold wind that enters, not that I needed to breathe but I needed to clear my airway of her. Soon her scent is subtle, tolerable. 

I had packed the girl some of her clothes into a duffle bag that I had found shoved back behind her clothes at the bottom of a closet. I grabbed a few things from her room, including her money that was scattered on the entryway ground, managing to take a few other things from her cupboards as well knowing that she would have to eat at least three times a day. It was crazy how so long ago that was my mundane life, now I can feed once a week and be satisfied. Not at my fullest strength and capabilities, but satisfied enough that my thirst was quenched. 

Peppermint tea seems like a suitable option and well, her only option as it was the only tea that I had taken from one of her cupboards. I remembered my mom making it for me when I had an upset stomach as a child.

I place the tea on the counter when I spin around at the sound of her. Her shoes thump against the floor picking up pace, she is running now and within seconds I’m at her side, my hand gripped around the soft wool of her burgundy sweater pulling her back from the open window and slamming it shut behind me. 

When I let go of her, the duffle bag she had looped around her arm dropped to the floor with a thud.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I shouted out accidentally, my nerves were racing. Does she not realize how dangerous it would be to leave right now? Those wolves, well men as far as she knows, wanted something at her house, surely someone would come around looking for them at that location again and soon. 

I place both my hands on her arms now, holding her in place. She looked at me terrified, standing here before me with her mouth slightly hung open. She reaches up and grabs my hands and pries them off of her. 

I hadn’t realized how strong my grip was on her small arms, I quickly take a step back and take in a sharp breath trying not to relish in her smell, to graze my teeth against her skin, biting down sucking her blood, tasting it, feeling it course through my burning veins until nothing was left. 

The sound of a squealing kettle breaks our eye contact and I run to take it off the burner before returning to the girl standing in my living room, unmoved. The thought of killing her tainted my mind, Roman would kill me himself if he knew I thought of killing the girl and not to mention what Jax would have to say about the matter. Of course, I truly didn’t want to but her smell was so addicting I could only imagine how much better it would taste on my tongue.

I tell her I don’t want to scare her. She tells me I am, I try to relax my face and soften my voice when I speak to her, dropping my harsh tone from before. 

I cross my arms now and her eyes briefly scan me over. She demands I tell her how I healed her, how I did everything that happened that night as if she doesn’t believe me, which she shouldn't, I was lying but as if she thinks there is any form of logical explanation to any one of her questions. 

I try to hold back a chuckle, she’s going to think I’m psychotic. 

“Well,” I say as I flop down and the couch behind me twirling the keychain Roman gave me for and I quote, “ for emergencies only, Xavier” he firmly reminded me time and time again. The vile held a powerful source of blood, the type of blood you could only get from a fae.

I agree to her terms, on the one condition in which she tells me her name. It hasn’t been fair this whole time she gets to think and refer to me as Xavier when I can only refer to her in my mind as “the girl”.

Renessa. 

Renessa Ray, she tells me, confidently and snarky at that.  She seemed stubborn, I could hear her attitude oozing out of her voice much like last night when she refused to let me help her . I let out a laugh as I repeated her name back to her, I’ve never met a Renessa before. Never even heard that name, and yet the girl that stands before me is exactly how I would picture a Renessa. 

Large lonesome, puppy-like eyes that asked you to stare into them and soft plump full lips the colour lips get when strawberries stain them. 

She has freckles on the bridge of her nose and parts of her cheeks. Her face was round and though I’ve yet to see her smile I can imagine she has dimples on either side just from the way her mouth arches up when she has something to say. 

Her long dark brown hair draping down over her shoulders like a waterfall, framing her face and contrasting her eyes. Those mismatched eyes, they were so different but yet it suited her. She was short, way shorter than me. I stood at 6’3” and I can imagine she was at least a whole foot shorter even in her boots, her curvy hips and larger thighs gave her a slight hourglass silhouette and it suited her too. 

For a moment my brain can’t formulate a sentence and I’m baffled at the things I had just thought. How could I be so drawn to a girl I had just met, a girl I don’t even know - who just hours ago was near death, desperately trying to survive the night and then desperately trying to get me to leave.  The girl who last night, had my blood in her mouth, dripping down her face, healing her wounds from the inside out.

How could I possibly even feel, well anything other than bloodlust towards her and a human at that or maybe it was just the scent of her blood, the warm sugary scent that made the rest of my thoughts jumbled and absurd? That’s what I’m convincing myself for now, besides in an hour or so when Ryker and Jaxon show up she is going to forget everything, including me and I very well may never see her emerald green and seafoam eyes again. 

I tell her my name. I tell her what I am and then I wait staring at her waiting for a scream or for her to run, to open the window back up and jump out without a second glance back or book it towards the front door. I wait for her heart to start racing, waiting for it to beat out of her chest but she just stands there. 

She just stands there and she laughs, she starts laughing uncontrollably. 

“So my theory was right, you are a psychopath.” She says under her breath and now her heart begins racing, her weight has shifted now to her one side.

She reaches for the window with her left fingers, never taking her eyes off me. Her breathing is slow and heavy, and she hesitates. Just for a moment, but she hesitates as if she was hoping I'd get up and kill her right then and there.

“I’m not lying, Renessa,” I say now standing directly in front of her, I moved so swiftly she didn’t even realize I had left the couch till I was just now an inch or so away from her. “Haven’t you ever heard of Vampires before?” I chuckle, “ I mean really, come on. It's the 21st century.” 

Her breath catches in her throat and her body tenses and she holds it in and looks up at me. Her hands clenched in fists at her side but her legs were unmoving. 

She looks faint but she plants her feet firmly on the ground, a horrified expression was on the girl's face that same look she had in her eyes last night as the man loomed over her, knife to her neck. Her glazed-over, frightened eyes reflected those of every other mortal I had killed many years ago. 

I almost expect her to faint again, the way she did last night but to my surprise, the girl speaks. 

“P-prove it.” She stutters. My hands grab hold of her arms, holding her still in front of me. 

“What did you just say to me?” I ask, shocked that she hasn’t screamed in horror just at the fact I had appeared in front of her in a matter of seconds from across the room. “Prove it?” I scoff. “Oh you stupid mortal girl, you want me to prove it?” I laugh.

_ Did she have some sort of death wish? _

She seems taken aback at my harsh words but what more could she expect from a vampire, I take a small step forward. Laughing again, as if healing her with my blood and killing men before her eyes in a matter of seconds didn’t give her any sort of convincing maybe, just maybe I will prove it. 

“You heard me, prove it.” She quirks her eyebrow, a challenge I assume. “You want me to believe that vampires exist and that you are one, but I don't believe it. So yeah, prove it.” 

“What are you gonna do if I don’t?” 

“I will just-” she starts to say but before she can finish getting the words out of her mouth I bring my hand up to the side of her neck grabbing it and bringing it in towards my mouth. Why did the girl have to be so stubborn? 

I let my head rest on her shoulder, my chin in the nape of her neck as my breath brushes against her warm skin. My sharp teeth lightly pressed against her throat, just hard enough that she could feel them. Trying to resist letting my fangs sink into her was agonizing, I could feel her blood pulsing against my teeth. 

Her breathing had slowed, she was still and she let out a small hiccup-like sound as I grazed my teeth up delicately up her neck “Do you-” I say then apply more pressure with my fangs just below her jawline “believe me,” I apply more pressure “Now?” I ask when suddenly I taste it. 

She gasps. A drop of her blood hits the tip of my tongue, coating my one fang in its thick, poignant flavour. I shove her away from me without even thinking of the consequences and she flys back crashing into the bookshelf with a scream. Quickly, I turn to hide my face from her as I feel the veins pulsing just beneath the surface of my eyes and down my cheeks, the face of a monster. 

"How's that for proving it?" I remark. My voice was deep and hoarse now as I tried to restrain myself from turning back around and finishing what I had just started. 

Her blood was nearly mouthwatering and I had only pricked her skin, it was only one drop but it was delectable. I hadn't tasted human blood in years, let alone blood that good ever in my entire life, it was drug-like.

I look around for something, anything to rid me of the pain so I grab the bottle of Jack Daniels that sat on the coffee table and take in a couple of swigs hoping to get the taste of her blood out of my mouth. I turn to face her, the alcohol bottle still in hand. 

"Do you believe me now, Renessa?" 

She breathes in deeply, her hand up covering her neck as she stares at me with her back against the shelves, books now scattered everywhere around her. She just stares at me and says nothing. 

I walk towards her slowly as I take another sip, the warm alcohol burns my aching throat on the way down but it cools me once it reaches my stomach. The pounding in my veins has slowed once I reach her, I kneel down and look her in the eyes. She's startled again and I know it's because mine are black. 

She looks scared and I want to apologize. Though it's not something I'm used to doing, I try anyway. "Renessa...I'm sorry. I never meant to —,"

"Y-You bit me?" she interrupts. Her face grew pale now and she shifted, leaning herself upright as her body grew tense. "You actually bit me?" 

"Oh, hardly," I sneer. She had asked me to prove it and I did. Granted, actually hurting her was not my intention. "You're lucky It was just that." She stares at me. Her hand is still over her neck. The room fills with silence for a minute and all I can hear is her breathing.

I stumble over my words now, unsure what to say, wanting her to say something instead. "Um...However, as I said, I am sorry." I shrug, taking another swig from the bottle.

“Why then?” She asks, her stubbornness returning. “If you’re a vampire, why didn’t you just bite me already? You already had a taste. Why haven’t you sunk your both teeth into my skin and killed m-”

I stand up now, slightly furious that she is trying to egg me on when all I want, all my body has been telling me to do is rip her neck open. Did she really need to be so headstrong about everything? Arguing with this girl was beginning to annoy me. 

“Because I can’t!” My voice comes out much louder and harsher than I was expecting and even I shudder at the sound of it. I can feel my face scrunching up into a snarl, my fangs exposed.

“What do you mean you-” 

I cut her off again as I slam the bottle of whiskey down on the end table. “Because I took an oath!” My voice comes out louder than I had anticipated, startling the girl. Trying to lower my voice now, I speak again. 

“I swore that I would never kill another human. Years ago, Renessa. I don’t drink human blood and I just- I didn’t mean- I never would’ve done that.” I say pointing at her neck. Again, I can’t seem to find the right words as her eyes don’t move from mine, they were tight and worried at first and then intimidating, angry, maybe. 

“I’m what we like to call, vegetarian, I only feed on animals.” 

She stands up now, pushing herself up off the ground and teetering a bit as she does and takes a few steps towards me, careful to step around the books. Renessa takes her hand away from her neck, blood now smeared across it but the bleeding from her neck has stopped, it was only a small prick but it could’ve been a lot worse if I didn’t have the self-control. 

“I don’t know why I did that to you, you were just being stubborn and I wanted to prove it, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I’m rambling now. “I want to help you, that’s what I’ve been trying to do to you, I want to make you forget what happened last night. Hell, I want you to forget what happened right now.”

“Slow down,” she demands, “I’m trying to understand what the hell actually just happened, can you just slow down!” She yelled and suddenly the light from the side table went out, the lightbulb shattering down and ricocheting off the whiskey bottle. Thunder begins to roll outside as rain begins to come down hard against the roof and pitters against the window.

I step forward quickly away from the shards of glass, bringing my arm up to cover my face. When I dropped my arm I realized she was right in front of me again, only inches away. She looked at me, her face looked queasy again, the same way it did this morning.

We both stumble back at the sound of the front door flying open and hitting against the wall and I wrap my arm around her waist to stop her from stumbling over the stray books along the floor. Jaxon and Ryker walk in, both dressed in all black. Their muddy boots thump against the floor as they enter the living room. 

“Why the hell do I smell  _ human _ blood?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Renessa**

My neck throbbed from the pinprick Xavier had given me quite unexpectedly.I have to admit, I truly wasn't expecting that to happen. I wasn't expecting any of this to happen. I was just being willful, letting my stubbornness come out as anger ran through me. 

Damien always hated that side of me but I don't care what Xavier thinks of me, I wanted him to hate that part of me too so he would let me go. 

I thought he was only kidding, and truthfully witchcraft or blood magic, sorcery even would've been a more believable answer to my question, but when he blurted out Vampire I couldn't help but think he was only kidding. I laughed.

Why did I just start laughing? Why did I tell him to prove it?

Then, before I could even blink he was in front of me with his cold hand around my neck and two sharp teeth were placed against my neck, his breath was hot and I could feel my pulse pushing against his fangs as he dragged them slowly up toward my jawline. 

I had never seen something move so fast before in my life and then before I knew it I felt a warm pinch and a soft trickle of blood and within seconds I found myself flying across the room and slamming hard into the bookshelf behind me. 

Now I'm standing beside him, Xavier's arm is around my waist when two men enter the living room.First, I notice the younger-looking man. He seemed shorter than Xavier from where he stood and it looked like he had broad, wide shoulders underneath his black leather jacket. 

His jawline was sharp, and just below it, I could see an image — an edge of a tattoo peeking out just above the collar of his jacket. His skin was pale too, just like Xavier's except I could see his strikingly green eyes from here, they stood out against his straight black hair. He wore black ripped jeans and thick black boots that lace up a quarter of the way up to his calves. 

The other man beside him was intimidating and tall. His grey, pale flesh made me feel uneasy but his brown eyes were calm, though they weren't the brown Xavier had. This man's eyes were dark brown, like mud.

His hair was in light brown waves reaching just above his slender shoulders and he wore a long black jacket that reached just below his knees. Beneath it was a grey turtleneck sweater paired with dark black jeans and boots just the same as the shorter man beside him.

Neither of the men looked impressed as they entered the room, though I noticed the younger-looking man take a quick glance and look me up and down.

"Xavier, I said why do I smell blood!" His voice echoed, deep and angry.

"Jaxon," Xavier says looking to the taller man, "I didn't mean to, it was an accident I swear."

"Let me see her." He says, his voice now calm.

Xavier takes a step back, releasing his hand from my waist as Jaxon walks over to me. He brings his hand up to my chin and tilts my head to the left, the coldness of his fingertips startling me. I don't know why it was surprising, I could only assume both men were Vampires too.

Vampires, how did I go about getting involved with Vampires? Something I grew up learning was a myth, a legend, a fantasy and now here I was in a room with three of them.

He looks at me, his expression changing into a slight frown and he looked as if he could hear my thoughts as he asks, "Are you alright, darling?"

"I'm fine. I'm sore, my backs killing me," I say shooting a glare over in Xavier's direction before returning my sight to the man in front of me, "But I'm fine."

He notices the books scattered across the floor and the broken book self and shoots a death glare over to Xavier, then he pricks his finger to his fang and places the droplet of blood against the small hole in my neck and I can feel it close, the ache in my back slowly fades away too.

"You'll be alright now." He reassures me, then he locks his eyes to mine, "Look at me."

He gives me the same look as Xavier had given me last night, his eyes staring deep into my soul. Unmoving.

He begins to tell me how I won't remember this day, how we never met. How I was never here and that I took a few days off work to focus on myself. He tries to convince me of a few other things but I'm not listening, I'm confused and his eyes are burning through me or at least they're trying to but I can't keep my focus, I look away from him and his eyes go wide as he steps back. 

"Why isn't...." He trails off, stepping back now and looking over towards Xavier. "Why hasn't she - why isn't this working?"

"I don't know, Jax. This is what I told you, I can't compel the damn girl to forget anything." His voice was annoyed, much different than the come tone he had spoken to me with earlier. "I just wanted to save one innocent person and now it's causing me nothing but trouble..." He says.

My heart jolts as I hear Xavier complain about helping me, I suck in a deep breath as I try to remain calm. He had been telling me since last night that all he wanted to do was help me, protect me and try to keep me safe but now he is complaining about doing so? As if I asked for this.

"Trouble?" I let out a laugh. "I've caused you nothing but trouble?"

I couldn't control my anger now. Now, more than ever I wanted to leave this place and to storm past all of them slamming the door on my way out.

"If I do recall, you showed up at my house! I didn't ask anything of you, I didn't ask to be saved!" I was yelling now as all three men just stood there — still, so eerily still as they looked at me.

"I told him to kill me. I was prepared to die and you," I point over at Xavier. "Xavier. You have caused me nothing but trouble, all I want is to go home."

I let out a long breath I hadn't realized till now I was holding in.

"Do you truly think I want to be here? Standing in a room filled with three random men, and not just regular men may I add. Which in and of itself is terrifying enough," I huff. "Three men, who are vampires?"

"Fascinating," Jaxon says, looking at me with a smile and ignoring everything that I had just said. "What are you, and why do you smell so good?"

"I'm freaked the hell out," I state, taking a few steps back from him as he tries to grab my blood-smeared hand.

"Hey," the other man says sternly, walking closer now. "Hey, back off her and give her some space Jax."

I find myself backed up against the bookshelf again.

Xavier walks over to Jaxon and places a hand on his shoulder shoving him back slightly then he whispers something in his ear and the two of them walk off towards the kitchen, the other man stays behind with his arms crossed leaning against the wall now near the doorway. He catches me staring at him.

"The name is Ryker, by the way."

"R-Renessa," I say against dry lips.

"Xavier isn't very good with introductions, or girls, or anything really." he chuckles.

"I can hear you Ry, in case you had forgotten," Xavier says from the other room.

A small weight was lifted off my chest and I relaxed a little bit, it didn't seem like he wanted to kill me. For now, anyway. I mouth a "Thank you." over at him as I nod my head towards the doorway and I wipe my hand along the side of my jeans hoping to get the rest of the blood off.

"Don't worry about it. But, just so you know I am going to stay over here. You smell."

I stifle a laugh, pretending to understand all though I couldn't smell anything. I was distracted now, pretending to play with a loose thread on my jeans as I was listening to the hushed voices from the kitchen and I try to make out what they're saying as Ryker stares at me, eyes unmoving.   
  


"Either way, Jaxon. Even if the compulsion worked she can't go home."

"Why not?"

"Because the men that attacked her were werewolves. Lesters clan, I saw their marks. We can't send her back there; we have no idea if more of them will show up."

"What do you think we should do?" Jaxon' asks, his voice was calm but unsteady as he whispered. "Do you think we should bring her to Roman?"

I startle at the thought of going somewhere else, there is no way in hell I am leaving here unless they bring me home. All I want is to go home. I want to see Damien, I want to go home to my own bed in my own house. I was not leaving here with any of these strangers.

Without even thinking I run towards the kitchen but I'm stopped by no other than Ryker, his arm outstretched in front of me blocking me from entering the room. The sleeve of his leather jacket moved up slightly, tightening on his biceps now and I saw what looked like more tattoos down his arm and onto his wrist.

I look over at him, furious and his green eyes burn through mine, his facial expression was telling me 'don't do it' but I grab his arm anyway, gripping his leather jacket as I try to move it but he doesn't budge.

He stands there looming over me, his height was only a few inches taller than mine but his presence was brooding and I couldn't help but notice how alluring this man was. There was something about him, like a calmness amongst a storm.

"What does the girl want?" Jaxon asks, sounding irritated now.

"I want to go home."

No one says anything. Xavier just looks past Jaxon and right at me, his face looks sad almost like he pities me.

"Well, that I know." He states, "but it's quite obvious that cannot happen."

“Please.." I plead. "I promise you, I won't tell anyone about you. You have my word just let me go." I push harder on Ryker's arm now, trying to duck under him but he stops me as he stands completely in front of me now, both his hands now resting on either side of the door frame.

Xavier shakes his head at me.

"Sorry darling, that's a no go." I hear Ryker's voice as he swiftly picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder and heading towards what I assume is the front door.

He stomps his boots down a set of stairs, and then I saw the ground. What was once leaves and dirt was now mud beneath his feet as the rain continued to fall.

I throw my hands at his back, pounding at him begging him to put me down immediately but my fists made no impact on him as he continues walking in the rain.Jaxon and Xavier followed closely behind, Xavier was carrying my duffle bag over his shoulder as I watch him turn to close the door and walk down the stairs of his front porch.

I could see the outside of his house now as I bend my neck to look up. It was similar to mine in shape and locations as it was set back into a clearing within the trees. But instead of warm and calming tones much like my home, his house was stained black with an eerie looking arch-like overhang above the front porch.

The house looked mysterious, hollow even and the large wooden front door seemed uninviting. The plants out front were overgrown with weeds around the front porch, weeds that were now dying and all the windows were tinted black from the outside - unable to see within. His home looked as though it held secrets.

As Ryker continues walking, I begin to scream and start flailing my legs around but Ryker takes his other arm and wraps it around my legs, holding me still almost effortlessly as if I was as light as a feather.

The rain was coming down hard and the thunder was rumbling through the trees as the wind wisps through the branches. I was cold.

"Renessa, we need to take you somewhere safe." Xavier states.

I lift my head up, straining my neck to look at him.

"Safe?" I chuckle. "Safe, you want me to be safe?"

"Yes..?" He says and I let my headrest back down against Rykers back.

"How is this safe?" My voice comes out more like a yell and I pound my fists on Rykers back once more, my teeth are chattering now. "How ironic," I let out a small laugh, sarcasm seeping through my lips and I try not to let my attitude come out this time, "you want me safe yet look what you're putting me through. I don't even know you, and not that long ago may I add you almost bit me and now you have me thrown over the shoulder of some other man." I huffed trying to catch my breath. "In the middle of a thunderstorm in autumn, you may not be able to freeze to death because apparently, you're all dead but I'm going to catch a cold or worse, die. I'm freezing." 

"Ryker, stop," Xavier says as he comes to a halt. "She's right."

Ryker sets me down in front of him, his jet black hair now soaked and strayed across the top of his face. He apologizes and runs his hands through his wet hair, and begins to remove his jacket.

My breath catches in my throat and I mentally slap myself for the burning feeling that grew inside my stomach as my cheeks flushed red. 

Enticing was the only word I could use to describe him, yet I knew I shouldn't even be thinking or feeling that at all, after all, he literally had thrown me over his shoulder just moments ago and refused to put me down until now.

Jaxon lets out a small chuckle.

I wonder what he's laughing at but brush it off as Ryker holds his jacket out towards me.

"Here," he says shoving it at me. "This should help."

I shiver as the rain continues to soak through my sweater and trickle its way down my hair that was stuck to the back of my neck now too. My jeans were soaked, sticking to my skin more like tights now as I take the jacket from him. Our hands meet briefly, they were cold and wet as they graze over mine.

"T-hank you," I say through chattering teeth. 

"Anytime, darlin." He smirks, flashing me a pearly smile.

Xavier was quick to rush over to my side, facing Ryker and giving him a quick look as he takes the jacket from me and turns to help me put it on.

"This should do for now," he says softly, " unfortunately there isn't any other way to get there. We have to go on foot."

"On foot?" I ask "and just how long will that take?"

"Well with you, a few hours."

"Hours?" I blurt out. "Hours in the rain, are you crazy!" my voice was almost in a yell now as I tried to make myself heard of the thunder.

For a moment I think of running, booking it through the trees and down the hill which his house sat on and running for my life as fast as I could, anywhere but here, anywhere but where they were taking me. It didn't matter if they all swore to protect me, that their only motive was to keep me safe. I wasn't safe, I wasn't home. Besides, I don't want to cause Xavier any more trouble. 

Even if I did go with them, even if I did let them take me to whoever this Roman guy was, what if Damien came back home early? What if he was waiting for me, was he calling his parents scared and concerned that I wasn't home? Would he check my work? Call my cell hoping I was in town, leaving me messages wondering why I haven't spoken to him today? 

All I wanted right now was to fall back into his warm embrace and cry but instead of taking my chances, my feet stay planted on the ground. Seeing how fast Xavier moved earlier only meant my chances of getting away were slim to none and I had no other options but hours on foot? Do none of these men own a car?

"There's no use running, love and there are no roads which lead to Xavier's house, we don't have any cars here either. We came on foot, we're a lot faster than you think." Jaxon chimes in as if reading my mind. 

"I'm sorry, but if we take you with us at our speed you could very well die," Xavier adds. 

I gulp.

"A few hours it is then." 

Xavier walks just up ahead of me now with my duffle bag still swung over his shoulder, Jaxon is at his side and Ryker slows his speed to fall behind me. I shiver with every step as the rain doesn't stop or slow and the sound of the thunder begins to match with the beating of my heart inside my chest. I was absolutely starving at this point, dehydrated too.

We continue walking through the trees, Xavier holding branches out for me every now and then as I duck under them for what seems like forever before I find myself getting dizzy and faint.

My stomach was growling and my throat was beginning to burn too, begging me to eat. I cup my hands to try and catch some of the rain, drinking it as quickly as I collected it. I feel better for a moment before once again growing faint. I clutch my hands around my stomach as it rumbles.

I stumble over a large broken branch and begin to lose my balance when I feel two strong hands grip my waist and lift me up quicker than my knees buckled.

"Are you alright?" Rykers rich, calm voice asked as his warm breath hit my ear. He spins me around to face him.

I could feel Xavier's presence behind me now, Rykers eyes look over my shoulder and he suddenly lets go of my waist and backs away.

"Cool it, Xavier," Jaxon growls. "He's only trying to help her."

I feel myself start to stumble slightly again as Rykers hands were no longer at my sides holding me up, my eyelids began to feel heavy and I felt like I was blinking in slow motion. Straining my eyes to stay open. 

"What's wrong?" Xavier asks, his voice was callous. 

"Food. Please, I need food. I haven't eaten since....since..." I try to finish my sentence but I feel myself growing fainter, "since last night." 

"Jaxon, we have to get the girl something, fast," Xavier yells over at him. 

My stomach was empty and even though I was trying to stand up and keep my knees from buckling, my body just wanted to sleep and before I knew it all I could hear was Xavier's voice cursing and muttering something about mortals as my vision grew dark.


	8. Chapter 8

**Renessa**

The soft sound of hushed voices and the pattering of rain against thick glass trickled through my ears as I woke.I push myself up as my hands land upon silky sheets on what seemed like someone's bed. A four-poster bed covered in deep emerald sheets. Again, not mine. I was still wearing the jacket, it was damp and uncomfortable. The leather of Ryker's jacket squeaked as it rubbed together as I took it off. 

My hair was still wet as it stuck to the back of my neck but the coldness had worn off as I was now underneath a pile of blankets, and to my right was a fireplace that was gleaming of red and orange. 

How have I managed to, within the last twenty-four hours, find myself in such predicaments? Somehow, always ending up in someone else's bed.

I find myself wishing Xavier had just let me die. 

Pushing myself up against the headboard I let out a deep sigh. This was agonizing, my life has been so abruptly interrupted and I've barely had a chance to properly understand everything that has even been going on. No time to process it. Everything felt surreal, hazed over like a dream - no a nightmare. 

My stomach aches and burns as I lean forwards, I grip my hands around either side of my waist trying to settle it as the burning sensation of hunger reappears in my throat when suddenly the door flies open and Ryker and Xavier enter the room. Their presence was suffocating. 

"Jaxon was right," Ryker said. "She's up." He sighed in what seemed to be relief of some sort as he sat on a chair on the other side of the room. 

Xavier walks towards me and my body tenses. 

"I brought you food," Xavier stated, holding a tray of what looked to be fruit and bread. "And some water." he handed me the glass.

I take the cup from him, chugging it back in three swift gulps and shoving it back into his hand just as I finish swallowing and quickly ask for more. Ryker stifles back a laugh and Xavier hands me the tray of food, then swiftly leaves to refill my glass without saying another word.

"You are something else, you know that?" Ryker chuckles as he leans back into the chair, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Well, I'm actually just dehydrated." I deadpan, taking a bite of bread. "And famished."

Ryker stands now, making his way slowly over to sit next to me on the edge of the bed.

"I am sorry you passed out," he says, "Us vampires, we aren't so good with humans." 

"No kidding."

Xavier returns shortly, reappearing with another full glass of water as I finished eating a slice of an orange. Xavier places the water on the night table next to me without saying and not so subtly shoots Ryker a glare as he walks over to the chair in the corner and sits down. I could feel his eyes burning into me - watching me.

I continue to eat the orange slices, the sweet tang of citrus nipped at my tongue and the juices that dripped down my lips slightly burned at the small dry cracks as it trickled down my chin.

Suddenly, I felt the cold touch of Ryker's thumb brushing against the skin of my chin, my breath catching in my throat as his touch startled me. He wipes away the stray orange nectar. I look up to meet his green eyes and feel a sudden knot form in my lower stomach.

"You just got something on your chin, darling." he smiles, revealing his sharp fangs. He brings his thumb up to his mouth, licking the juices off "Blood orange."

I stare at him for a moment, my stomach tied in knots as I try to deter my eyes from his. "Thanks," I say, looking down and picking at a piece of bread. 

"Ryker," Xavier's voice comes out in almost a small growl. "Let's leave the girl to get changed."

Xavier stands up now, walking over and taking the tray away from me before I could finish. He begins to make his way towards the door. As he leaves, he says, "Your things are in the washroom to your left." Then he exits the room. 

"He's just bitter, like all of the time." Ryker states. "You'll get used to it."

"I don't want to," I say truthfully.

"You can keep it if you want, you know?" He says.

A look of confusion scrunches up over my face as I ask him what he means. 

"My jacket," he nods his head towards it, grabbing it out from beside me. "Keep it."

" I couldn't, It's yours." I smile, " I wouldn't want to cause you guys any more trouble than I already have, given the circumstances."

"Well then, it's yours when you need it." He says, his voice cool and reassuring. Then he takes the jacket with him and leaves, closing the large wooden door behind him.

"I hope I'm not here long enough to need it again, anyways," I mumble under my breath as the door closes.

I find my things in the washroom just as Xavier had said, though the bag was wet and the top half of my clothes were essentially ruined so I had to dig to the bottom to find anything left that was even remotely dry.Managing to find a pair of dark denim jeans I throw them on along with a black long sleeve top. It wasn't going to be warm enough but it would do for now until my other clothes dried. 

Brushing through my hair with my fingers I try to untangle the mess that had been made when I look up into the mirror. The sight of my reflection was ghastly, the woman looking back at me in the mirror was not me. She looked dishevelled. Distraught. It couldn't be me. My once olive skin was now pale and my eyes looked as though I hadn't slept in days.

My hand grips onto the brass faucet that hangs over the glossy-black sink beneath it, turning the handle and splashing cold water on my face and rubbing it over my skin, over and over until I began to feel awake again. I try to convince myself that I was ready to face them, to leave this room and see what was beyond those doors but my feet refused to move.

I trembled at the thought of what was out there waiting for me, waiting to devour me. Consume me. My breathing began to grow heavy and I can feel the beginning of apanic attack coming on.

My lungs became hungry for air as if they were insatiable. As if before, I had only ever taken breathing for granted. The cool air created waves in my chest - tidal waves of angry water, splashing against the shore and pulling back hard and fast. My chest begins heaving up and down, craving more and more as if the air I was consuming would never be enough.

I can feel them growing larger now as the salty waves nip at my eyes, leaving trails of tears down the sides of my cheeks just as they leave their marks in the sand. And I try to control myself, thinking now of a calm beach, slow waters and a soft breeze as I try to slow my breaths and relax my mind but all I could feel - all I can see is the impending doom of the storm rolling in through the clouds.

The light above me flickers - I can hear the rain still, pattering down against the windows. Thunder rolling through the mountains, rolling through my body and casting an eerie presence within the room. As my reflection flickers in the mirror along with the lights I feel as if I, myself, might soon fade just the same.

I grip the edges of the counter now, curling my hands overtop the smooth marble as I heal over with my face near the sink.My wrists are aching, and my mind is running at a million miles an hour trying to comprehend the mess my life had so abruptly become. 

Flashbacks of the other night scorch through my mind like lightning flashes shooting hazy visions across my eyelids. My skull aches at each reminder, a cracking feeling brewing at the top of my head. A throbbing pushing up through the top, waiting for release. I suck in a deep breath, bringing my hand up to my neck as I feel the pressure from where Asher's cold blade was once pressed hard into my throat and I see him again.

I can feel the pressure of his knees digging into my thighs. His voice echoes in my mind, then suddenly Xavier's towering over me again as Asher's body falls lifelessly towards the floor and then there's banging- I'm pulled away from the memory when I hear knocking on the bedroom door and Ryker's voice from outside it.

"Renessa," he says, "Are you okay?"

My heart settles for a quick moment. Rykers somehow has become my only form of reassurance; for some reason, he was the only one who had made me feel completely safe at the moment. He seemed more normal than the other two ...almost more human. I knew if he was out there, at least he had cared enough and didn't consider me a burden nor trouble, not as Xavier had.

I take a moment to catch my breath and straighten out my shirt before exiting the washroom and making my way towards the door. Hesitantly, I open it. Ryker and Xavier stand in the hallway waiting for me. 

"You're fine then?" Xavier asks bluntly, turning and walking down the hallway without so much as looking at me. Not slowing for a second as if he was expecting me to follow him. 

"I'm fine," I mutter as Ryker places his hand on the small of my back and leads me down the hall.

When we enter the next room I'm taken aback for a moment at the sight of it. It was a large room, with high ceilings. The walls looked as though we were inside of a cave, carved out of rock and stone as it curved slightly creating a half-circle-like shape to the room. Considering the walls were rock it was surprisingly not dark at all inside as many tall glass windows were lined within the stone from floor to ceiling, each about two feet apart from one another spanning the entire length of the wall. 

The sun wasn't out as the looming darkness of rain clouds hung between the mountain tops outside, but one question had still occurred to me. "The sun...it doesn't hurt you?" I ask as I continue to look around admiring the uniqueness of the space around me. 

Ryker stifles back a laugh. "We've adapted, over time. It never used to kill us or burn us. Not like it states in many books, anyways. It only weakens us to a certain extent."

"We've grown quite used to it though by now, besides, the weather here is usually pretty gloomy so we don't get much sun compared to other places," Xavier adds.

"That I know, the weather here is depressing. More rain than sun, more rain than snow." I say.

As we continue walking I notice how the walls were lined with antique wall sconces between each window, and up above in the center of the room hung an ornate-looking chandelier. It was beautiful, wherever this was - I wasn't sure what I had expected, but I surely had never expected this.

"Xavier, darling. You're back" I hear a soft, mystic voice say as I look down from the chandelier.

From across the room, my eyes meet with a tall, ethereal-looking woman. Her long black hair ended just below her elbows where her arms were bent, delicately, as she held an antique silver goblet in her hands. Her skin looked as though she were made of glass, she had high cheekbones and her facial features were prominent and sharp against her black bangs that framed her face.

As she continued walking closer, I noticed how her black dress flowed elegantly as though she were floating over water. I could see her eyes now as the light from the wall sconces reflected off her glowy skin, her eyes were silvery grey with hints of sage green and her full lips were stained red with blood.

I suck in a gasp as she licks her lips clean, revealing the natural rose colour of them as she flashes me a bright smile.

"It's not human blood, my dear." she let out a soft laugh. Her voice was like silk. "Xavier must have at least told you that much."

I nod.

"This is Rayya," Ryker says as he walks over beside her now placing himself between her and Xavier. "Jaxon's wife." He smiles.

"Wife?" I asked, slightly amused at the fact that although they were technically - well, dead that they somehow still found a way to get married. How very 'mortal' of them.

"Indeed." She smiles, taking another sip from her glass. "Jaxon had just finished informing me on everything that has happened and I must say, you were quite lucky Xavier had found you."

I look over to Xavier, he is standing off to my right with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. His black tattooed arms standing out as they pressed against his white crew-neck. His shoulders are back as he stands straight and tall, his chin is lifted and his jawline clenched tightly as his lips press into a hard, straight line. He doesn't look back at me.

"It could've been a lot worse than it was." She states matter of factly.

"I was prepared to die," I remark. "I can't see how this can be much better, being surrounded by walking embodiments of death?"

Ryker shoots me a look, of what, I'm not sure. But his eyes widen, then he quickly looks to the floor.

"Can you honestly look me in the eyes and truly tell me you'd have rather died?" Rayya asks. The expression on her face was unreadable but by the way that Rykers face scrunched up as he turned his head away from me, I could tell I had struck a chord in her. "A young girl like you?"

"I, well... I.." I try to form an answer. Something that would seem less offensive standing in a room full of people who, in fact, were dead.

She gives me a look, her eyes softening slightly.

"I was fine with dying. I had asked him to kill me, it wasn't even nearly the most traumatic night of my life."

Xavier gave me a quick glance then looks away again, meeting Rayya's gaze now.

"I wanted to die too." She says softly. Turning now to head back down the hall. "Sometimes, we don't have a choice in our own fate, it's a shame." She sighs, turning her head over her shoulder to give me one last glance. "It was nice meeting you, Renessa," she says and before I can blink she's gone.

"She is rather eclectic," I find myself saying as I cross my arms over my chest, gently drawing small circles along my arm as if trying to shield myself, calm myself.

"Beautiful, but daunting," Ryker added.

Xavier drops his arms and finally turns to look at me, his brown eyes were dark again. "She's always been that way." Once I lock eyes with him I find myself sucking in a sharp breath, he turns away quickly, as if the sight of me was nauseating. "She's been through a lot."

"Like you," Ryker adds.I nod, unable to find the words to reply as my heart aches in my chest. Xavier doesn't look at me, just lets out a stiff laugh.

"She may be daunting, but at least she is grateful for what she has now." Xavier lets out with a small breath.

My body stiffens as the words leave his mouth. Why would Xavier go through all this trouble of saving me and keeping me around If my presence was bothering him this much, the way he looked at me was as though I was repulsive. Always stepping closer, then taking three steps back. Telling me he wanted to protect me, but then telling Jaxon I had caused him nothing but trouble. He seemed to get mad every time Ryker tried to help me as if he didn't want me having any help at all. One minute he cares, the next he doesn't and it was beginning to give me whiplash.

Xavier begins walking again, making his way down the same hall Rayya did. "Once we bring you to Roman we can figure out how to erase your memory of the last two days." His voice was thick and monotonous. " Once we do, we can find you a safe place to stay. Do you have any family to stay with?" he asks.

"What?"

I stop following them, squeezing my nails into my hands as they begin to shake. My body tenses as their earlier conversation replays in my mind. 

" _Either way, Jaxon. Even if the compulsion worked she can't go home."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Because the men that attacked her were werewolves. Lesters clan, I saw their marks. We can't send her back there; we have no idea if more of them will show up."_

In the midst of everything, it seems as though I had glazed over that part of their conversation, only focusing in on the fact they had wanted to take me somewhere else and in that moment I hadn't even stopped to think about what Xavier had told Jaxon.

"Wolves?" I blurt out. Of course, werewolves exist too - why wouldn't they? "Why did they come after me?"

My mind begins to race again. I feel as though my life had been put inside a blender, chopped up, spun around and poured out into a glass — a glass consisting of a whole entirely new reality and Xavier's hand was slipped into my hair again, holding the back of my head and all I could do was drink.

"Ah, yes." Xavier stops to look at me. " So you did overhear our conversation, after all, I thought you didn't at first. But, I'm not surprised."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I shoot back, digging my nails harder now into my palms.

"You're a stubborn girl. Stubborn and strong-headed, of course, you were eavesdropping." He chuckles, as he glares at me.

Ryker stays quiet.

"That's a conversation I should've been a part of, to begin with!" I fire back, suddenly I feel the warmth of my own blood seeping into my fingertips as my nails were now breaking the surface of the skin on my palms.

"Just because you saved me, doesn't mean you get to control me. This is my life, I owe you nothing!"

Xavier looked pissed. I could feel my cheeks burning red.

He stomps forward towards me, his thick boots thumping against the wooden floors as his eyes burn with what looks like rage, irritation, and annoyance all at the same time as he inches closer.

Ryker takes a step forward to walk in front of him but Xavier just shoves him aside as if he weighs nothing as if he is nothing and Rykers back hits hard against the wall.

"Control you?" He scoffs, standing only inches away from home. His tall figure looming over me as he looks down to meet my eyes. "Controlling you would be like trying to control a forest fire."

Before I can say anything Rykers voice cuts through Xavier's harsh tone, trickling in like water. "Xavier, leave the poor girl alone."

"She thinks she has some sort of high ground here? I was only trying to help her and she has some sort of death wish!" Xavier fires back at Ryker, his eyes still unmoving as he glares into mine trying to hold some sort of power or dominance over me. "God, I wish I never saved you. I should've just let the wolves have at ya."

I gulp back. His words stinging against my hot skin, like oil and water. I was prepared to die that night, I would've been okay with dying with the hopes of seeing my parents' faces again.

"The one god damn time I try to do the right thing." He says, his words coming out lower as he straightens his back and focuses his gaze behind me, over my head. Staring into nothing but something all at the same time.

"Xav, let's just get her to Roman. Maybe he can fix this then." I hear Ryker as he begins to head back down the hallway.

Xavier's eyes were somewhere else now. He looked as though he was staring off into another reality. His face was still angry.

I release my grip on my hands and bring them up towards his chest and shove him, pushing him out my way as I intended to follow Ryker wherever he was going when I realize the blood on my palms had left red smears pressed into Xavier's white shirt. His chest beneath my fingertips felt strong, the shove doesn't even phase him as his feet stay firmly planted on the ground.

He looks down at me and quickly brings his hands up to grab my wrists. Gripping them tightly as his eyes burn through me. Xavier's face twists, looking irritated and unamused.

"Are you kidding me?" He asks with a strick tone. 

I feel my body freeze again, for some reason he always seems to have that effect on me. He looks so angry, I had never had someone look at me so angry before. I let out a small whimper as his grip tightens around me.

He finally lets go of my left wrist just as quickly as he had grabbed it. He brings his fingertip up and pricks it against his fang, drawing blood. He takes and flips my right hand over and begins placing his blood on the incision my fingernails had made.

"You truly do have some sort of death wish don't you."

I quirk an eyebrow at him.

"Stop." He says placing his fingertip on the next one - "making," he places another drop, "yourself," he says as the wounds were beginning to close as he continued placing blood on each one between his words, "bleed." His tone was low and harsh. "In a house full of vampires." 

He takes my left hand in his, applying more blood as he finishes healing the other marks.

" I didn't-" I try to speak but he cuts me off. 

“Unless you want to feel both my fangs in your neck next time." He glances up at me, shooting daggers into my eyes. "Don't do this again."

I swallow as my chest begins to rise and fall faster. My tongue stumbles across words that I'm unable to spit out, then suddenly they're there.

"Why haven't you just offed me then already, huh?" I sneer. " Seeing as saving me has been such a burden to you since I do recall you saying 'i've caused you nothing but 'trouble'. So, why haven't you just killed me yet?" I find myself rearing with fire now, wanting to egg him on and make him slip up — I know he finds my stubbornness infuriating, the more I push the more he'll want me gone.

"What?" I laugh, "Is being a little vegetarian stopping you, Xavier?"

He lets out a small, deep chuckle. 

But before he can say anything I'm already adding more gasoline to the fire. "You've already had a taste, why not just indulge in it? I can see the way you look at me and I can't decide if it because you think I'm disgusting or because you want to try more than just a teaser sample of me? But deep down, I bet all you really want is to tear me apart and finish what those wolves started." 

"Enough" His voice echoes deep and low. "I know you don't care whether you live or die, Renessa!" He spits out, releasing his firm grasp on my wrist as it falls limply to my side. "I had wanted to help you. I wanted to save you, I thought I was doing something good. It's abundantly clear now how you would have rather died than had been saved by someone like me."

I'm silent.

"I could let you walk out right now and let you die trying to find your way back home, or better yet by some wolf since apparently, they want something from you." He breathes. "But I think letting you live, being surrounded by death and watching you squirm in disgust as you look at us - watching you hate every minute of it - that's far better than giving in and letting you die."

He turns and begins to walk down the hallway once more, mumbling to himself. Something I'm sure he didn't think I could hear. "But when you do, I surely will not be the one to do it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Xavier**

All I wanted was to save her.

All I wanted was some form of redemption, maybe then I'd hate myself less. At least, I thought I would, yet here I am threatening her after I had told her not that long ago "all I wanted was to save you."

_Save you for my own selfish reasons._

Even after all these years, the people I've killed still haunts me. Their eyes fading, their screams, their cold lifeless bodies lying limp in my arms. All of it ached in the back of my mind, like corpses clawing their way out of a grave — their nails scratching just beneath the surface. And then there was her and all I could hear was her screams, her pain - the same pain I had caused so many others but then there was her smell. Sweet and warm and intoxicating. 

All I wanted was to right some wrongs but why, out of all the people on this planet did it have to be her? The girl whose memories I can't seem to erase.

Why did it have to be the girl whose blood I so badly ached to taste? Why did it have to be the girl with curvy hips and a pretty face who was now stomping her boots behind me as she followed me through the corridor?

Trouble. That's what she was.

She has caused me nothing but trouble and I'm starting to think the universe never wanted me to redeem myself. In all my life, I have never met a girl so stubborn, even more so than I am. I have never met someone so ungrateful to have had their life saved, despite the circumstances. 

Her breathing is heavy and angry as she continues to follow behind me as I turn a corner. She nearly bumps into me as I come to a halt in front of a large wooden door.

"This is Romans's study," I say, not turning to look at her. "He should be able to help you." 

She doesn't speak as I turn the knob and enter the room. She hesitates, waiting in the hall. I quickly turn around, grabbing a hold of her wrist and pulling her inside. I shut the door behind us. Roman's study was quite large. There weren't many windows, except for one large one off to the side of his desk. 

The atmosphere was quite dark, the grey storm clouds hung low outside. There are a few dimly-lit lamps hanging off the walls emitting a soft yellow glow. His desk was a dark mahogany wood and scattered across it lay open books, papers and quills. 

Ryker sits over to the side of the room on a dark leather chair, reading a book. He looks up quickly glancing up towards my shirt as we enter, then returns to reading. He acts as though he's minding his own business, but I know he's only wishing he could read minds like his brother. 

Behind the mahogany desk, Roman sits in a large brown leather chair that seems quite worn down at the edges. 

The walls were lined with dark wooden shelves, containing books and vases and all sorts of trinkets and things he had collected over the years. 

"Renessa," He says, standing up from his chair and pushing it out behind him. He walks slowly over towards us as he glances over her, looking her up and down. "Well, you certainly look human." 

"I am." She states. Then she outstretches her hand, offering it to him. "It is nice to meet you, Roman." 

He shakes it in return. Then quickly he lets go of her, stumbling back slightly as his jaw hangs open - as if he were electrocuted. He shakes his arms and then lets it go limp, bringing a hand to his temple and scratching it. His face scrunches up. 

"How curious. You carry a significant amount of energy." He states, his voice deep and melancholy as always. "And trauma. All I feel from you is trauma." 

"You can feel that?" She asks through a shaky voice.

"It courses through you - it's like your body is waiting to release it." He mutters, "You do however smell quite lovely." He then shoots me a look. As if he knows something I don't. 

Her body tenses.

"You look rather lovely as well." He adds. "Quite alluring, if I could put a word to it." 

I take a step back as she moves closer to Roman. 

She tilts her head. "Is that so?" 

He nods.

He begins circling her, looking her up and down over and over again as if waiting for something to appear, something admitting to the fact that she is somehow not human. As if he is waiting for horns to pop out of her head as though she had just emerged from the devil's bath itself. 

She was shaking slightly, most likely due to the fact that his presence was unlike any other. 

Roman was tall and carried broad, wide shoulders. His features were intimidating too despite his heart of gold. Strikingly, light grey eyes contrasted Romans dark umber complexion, his skin was pulled smoothly across his structured face. His cheekbones sat high and his jawline was quite sharp. He had full lips and just above them, a hooped nose ring sat between his septum. His large eyebrows arched just so above his eyes, which made anyone feel intimidated. 

But he just smiled, continuing to circle her.

"You're eyes..." he trailed off. "They are rather ... interesting." 

"My mother, she had blue eyes and my father had green. I'm not sure how, or why but this is what I ended up with." The girl mutters, playing with the hem of her shirt as she looks at her shoes. 

"Had?" He asks, "Your parents then, where are they now?" He asks. Stopping and placing a finger beneath her chin, forcing her to meet his intense gaze.

She looks as though she's about to hurl over much as she did in my house not too long ago. 

She chokes back what looks like a sob. Her body stiffens now and she places her hands on either side of her thighs, tracing her thumbs in circles as if to soothe herself. His finger drops from her chin and her head slumps forward, almost like she's defeated.

"Dead." She whispers. 

I feel my body go numb for a moment as her voice rings through my ears. Dead.

"I watched them die." She adds.

Haven't we all. You're not special. I watched mine die too. We all have, have you forgotten you're in a room full of Vampires? We've outlived everyone we have ever cared about. And one day I will outlive you, too.

I go to take a step forward, a snide remark sitting on the tip of my tongue. I know I shouldn't say it, I shouldn't be so insensitive. Humans carry too many emotions, and quite frankly it's something I don't necessarily miss. However, I do find them creeping their way up every now and then, like before in my living room. 

I shake my head at the thought. 

As I go to speak Ryker's voice trickles in through my mind, bringing me to a stop as he tells me to let her be. Let Roman do what he needs to do. Nothing good will come from making her hate us, me, moreHis green eyes burn through me as I back away. Slumping against bookshelves, I sigh, leaving nothing left to do but watch and listen. 

Roman looks at me, then back down at the Renessa, a sea of brown hair and limp shoulders. 

His voice is delicate now as he asks, "May I see?" 

"Excuse me?" 

"May I see?" He asks again. "Let me into your mind." 

I straighten myself out now, squaring my shoulders and letting my voice come out slightly softer than usual. "He can see into your mind." I find myself saying.

She turns to look at me and tells me she doesn't understand.

"He can see into your past, specifically meaningful memories," I say taking a few steps forward now, closing the distance between us. "Memories that have been engraved into your mind deeper than others. Much like wounds, the deeper the cut the longer it takes to heal but the easier it is to rip back open. It is easier for him to see the more painful... tragic memories." 

"And can you all do...this?" 

"No," I respond. "We all have different abilities, I guess you could say, we got them when we were turned." Her eyes are wide, and once again glossed over with tears. "Almost like we took something from our human life, something we were good at and when we died it stayed with us - turning into something different but yet, the same." 

Then I see her shoot her head towards Ryker, as her hands fly up towards her ears covering them. He smirks at her and she sucks in a deep breath, then lowers her hands as he returns back to his book. 

"How?" She asks breathlessly.

"Well, I can only assume Ryker was quite good at persuasion as a mortal." I let out a small laugh. "He has his ways or crawling into people's minds. 

Ryker leans back in the chair and rolls his eyes.

"Roman, well. He must have been an empath, a knower maybe... able to feel and see other people's pain." I continue.

"And you?"

"Ah, Xavier." Roman echoes. "He emits strength. Power. He was a farm boy back in the day. Did you know that?" He asks.

I scowl at him.

"I didn't." She answers. "I don't know him at all."

"Ah well, he grew up taking care of the crops and chickens and slaughtering the animals for dinner. Isn't that right?" He laughs. "Well, he was a strong young man and though we are naturally, much stronger than humans. Xavier here seems to have excelled in that aspect much more than the rest of us." 

She looks queasy again as she wobbles back and forth shifting her weight slowly from one leg to the other. Roman leans against his desk, arms crossed as he taps a finger against his chin. 

"But you, my dear," he says, looking back at her now. "You seem to have this electricity about you. A feisty one are you?" 

I chuckle. "You could say that."

Her body tensed again as she stopped shifting, planting her feet now firmly on the ground. 

"I sense something about you. You're different." His brow arches up, looking her over once more. "Let me see your memories since I've heard we are unable to erase yours." 

"Fine." Her voice deepened, she seemed irritated now. Crossing her arms against her chest, she huffs out, "But only because I want to go home."

"This will only hurt a little, my dear." He whispers as he stands before her now.

Towering over her, he places his index and middle finger on Renessa's temples, his pointed fingernails digging in slightly causing her to whimper in pain. He closes his eyes shut and breathes in, as he does Renessa falls to her knees letting out a noise so unearthly, so unnatural that I'm not sure if it could even identify as a scream but more a wail. 

Romans eyes shoot open, staring straight ahead in a daze as his eyes darken and glaze over. Suddenly, the room is filled with an eerie silence.


	10. Chapter 10

**Renessa**

  
It _was July of two-thousand and ten as my memory brings me back to a day I had long forgotten, a memory from ten years ago._

_I was thirteen when the light on my nightstand had broken. Shards of glass lay across the floor, small pieces scattered on top of my blue comforter along with a small drop of blood from my hand where a stray piece of glass had nicked me._

_I felt a surge of energy rush through me, and it was like my anger had multiplied. My hands were shaking and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. A hot tear slid down my cheek as I squeezed my eyes shut. I hadn't meant to do it. I didn't want to break things, I didn't want to be this angry person._

_"Renessa." I hear my mother's soft voice coming from behind me._

_I continue staring out the window, my hands balled into fists at my side. The trees swayed outside against the dark navy blue sky that was twisting with grey. The wind was howling through the branches as the leaves scattered across the ground. I could feel the anger in the clouds, dark and grey as they cried and the ground rumbled.I sucked in a deep breath and I could feel the air in the room shift. I turn and stare into my mother's dark blue eyes._

_She looked calm._

_How could she be so calm? After everything, how was she standing here with all the elegance and grace in the world? How was she always so beautiful, even when she was mad? Her long silky brown hair fell in ripples over her shoulders reaching just above her elbows. Her olive skin and golden summer tan contrasted her deep blue eyes. She had freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks just like I did and her lips were full and deep in colour like she had just eaten fresh berries._

_She was everything I ever wanted to be. Beauty and grace. Calm and collected. I was not any of those things, though I was only thirteen I had already become quite curvy as well as clumsy. Not only that, I was neither calm nor collected but rather sarcastic and stubborn. I never felt like society's standard of beauty._

_"My love, come here." My mother says, gesturing for me to walk forwards._

_I release the tension in my fists and let my fingers go limp at my sides. My shoulders slouch forward slightly in defeat._

_"You know, when I was your age I sometimes felt this way too." My mother says, she reaches out her delicate hand, ever so smoothly and softly places it on my shoulder. "It was like I could sense the change in the air, I could feel the anger of the storm and sometimes I let it control my emotions too."_

_"What do you mean?" I ask. " I didn't mean to break anything, Mom. It was like I had a rush of energy and I couldn't control it, my fingers felt all...tingly."_

_The power in the house was out and the only light was the soft glow of the moon coming in through the window. The light reflected off of my mother's delicate skin, her eyes sparkling beneath the moonlight - a pool of navy blue stars._

_"It took me a while to understand it." She breathes out softly, " Why I was so in tune with the weather, and I had thought that you were too as a child but I know now for sure, you are." She continues, "You have always been quite connected to the earth, letting its energy control your own. But you're more powerful than you think. You can learn to take that energy and channel it differently. Don't let the storms rumble through you, don't let the lightning become your thoughts, and don't let the rain control your emotions because if you let it, it will consume you."_

_"Mother," I whined, " I don't understand."_

_"I know. I know, my love. You will one day. One day I will tell you everything you need to know," She smiles. Then changes the subject, "Listen, It's the blue moon tomorrow, we should set up your telescope to get a good look at it. Grandma said she always felt the most magic in the world on the night of the blue moon."_

_"I want to feel that too." I sigh, " I don't want to feel angry anymore."_

_She looks at the glass scattered across the floor, "Let's clean this up then, love." She says as she leaves. Soon after she returns carrying a glowing lamp in one hand and a small broom and dustpan in the other as she walks over towards me. I'm standing beside my nightstand._

_"Mom...Who is that?" I ask, staring out the window as I watch four black silhouettes wisping through the trees down below just as they come to a halt below, only afew feet away from our backyard._

_She freezes for a moment, her eyes widening as her face grows worried. Her body tenses and then she quickly reaches over to pull down the blinds._

_"No one." She states firmly. "Now, let's fix this mess."_

The memory fades to darkness and Roman's voice echoes through my ears, "Interesting, but I need to go further. There are deeper wounds you're blocking."

Then my mind feels like it is being pried open, almost as though his hands were splitting it apart down the middle, reaching down and pulling out memories. Memories I had buried long ago. Memories I had forgotten. I could feel the wooden floor beneath my fingertips as my head hung down now towards the floor, his fingers still pressed to my temples. But all I could see was darkness until he pulled at another, plucking it out like a feather.

No. Please, Don't let me relive this, I think. I don't want to see this again.

I hear myself let out a small groan, a sob-like sound as I try to grip the floor beneath me, my fingernails dig into the wooden floor with no luck. For a moment I think I feel a hand on my back, the slight pressure of cold fingertips against the back of my shirt but the feeling is quickly torn away as another memory comes hurtling forward like a blinding light.


	11. Chapter 11

**Xavier**

I know all too well what it's like to have your parents die.

Mine died many years ago and she wasn't special because hers died too, but it did pick away at something inside of me. Something deep down in the pit of my stomach and I couldn't help but somehow sympathize with her. Yet another emotion I had long forgotten how to feel.

It was the end of late August — 1939 when I returned home again. The second time now since I was turned. The nineteen thirties were some of humanity's darkest, bloodiest hours. However, they weren't mine. Though the war I had fought only 25 years ago weighed on my mind it was short-lived compared to the lives I had taken for my own blood-thirsty hunger. 

I returned to America from Canada, solely for the purpose of checking on my family. The Great Depression had just ended but during those hard years, many were in dark places. Panicked, depressive states and as the economy changed it had allowed many dictators to rise to power. 

Another war was coming and I wanted to make sure everyone was safe at home. Make sure they had food and money. I wanted to make sure that they were surviving. I had made my way over the large cast-iron gate which held a sign on the front. Engraved into the metal was our family name. 

**_The Augustines_** — below it in smaller letters read **_family farm._**

Carefully, I landed on the gravel driveway below. I move quickly and quietly, blending into the trees that lined the winding driveway up to the house. Remembering the path I took before, the first time I came. Sticking within the shadows cast through the swaying leaves, a glimmer of the sun only hitting the sides of my face every now and then.

Quickly, I made my way behind the large wooden house, out and around the barn and stables following the sound of soft chatter. Crying, maybe. Yes, crying. Something in my chest tightened. I could hear sniffling now, blending in with the sound of the wind. 

Moving now, back within the trees lining the property, I climb up. Hiding in the rustling branches, glancing down below just a short way off into the distance I can see my family. What's left of them, my two brothers in black suits and my sisters beside them. Black dresses. Two small children holding the hands of a man I've never seen before. All wearing black. Black everything. 

They stood, swaying slightly with the breeze on shaky legs around a plot. A plot near the back gardens, our family graveyard. Within the carefully planted flowers and mother's favourite dark red roses, roses which were now beginning to dry up — the tips of them turning black like they always did when they died. They turned to black nothingness. It was fitting, to be buried within the black roses, death surrounded by death. 

And then I saw it, a casket was being lowered by two men next to my father's gravestone. 

I watched as my eldest sister fell to her knees. A soft cry escaped her lips as my brother's hands gripped her shoulders. He whispers to her that it will be okay, that they can manage the property together. He won't leave her, he says. Not like Xavier. 

Not like me. I left them, I left them for my own selfish reasons and I could never return.

I deserved to suffer.

I hear a child's voice now, a girl asking what's wrong, asking for Grandma. Why isn't grandma here mommy? She asks. Where is she? My eldest sister turns to her, placing a small kiss on her cheek. Tells her Grandma is here — she points to her heart. My niece's heart.

I'll never get to know her. The other child walks up to her now, releasing his hand from the man who is unknown to me, their father I assume. The boy is hugging her now. He hugs her until she stops crying and the casket is fully submerged within the deep, dark soil of the earth. The earth that once engulfed my father, waiting hungrily for its turn to take her too.

I so badly wanted to go see them. To see my family again, meet my niece and nephew but I knew better, I knew I couldn't — It was for the best. They don't need to know they live in a world where things like me exist. Things even darker than what I am. After everything, they deserved peace. 

I close my eyes. Leaves wisping in the hot breeze brushing against my face and I can feel the sun on my skin, and it's uncomfortable. Hot. Sizzling but not burning me, It makes my skin crawl. It felt like a thousand fire ants all at once, It was just bearable enough — but unpleasant.

I convinced myself it was probably just the sun but I began to feel weak. Something in the pit of my stomach grew uneasy.

I feel my mind come back into focus, shrugging away from the memory but my stomach somehow felt the same uneasiness as before when I hear Renessa's sob break through the silence.

Ryker sits up straight, shoving the book down on the chair as he stands, running a hand through his hair as a look of concern washes over him. I rush towards her now, without even thinking as I place my hand against her back but then I quickly pull it away, wondering why I did that. She didn't need me and she sure as hell didn't need to know that I cared, not this much anyways. 

I remember how my sister looked, hunched over on her knees crying as my mother's casket was buried and I couldn't be there for her and for some reason it made me want to be there for Renessa.

No matter how much my heart kept telling me to, my mind kept pulling me away.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //TW//: This chapter contains darker scenes involving blood, knives and death. It could be triggering to some people. Please skip if you do not want to read. ty//

**Renessa**

_The telescope was set up.  
_

_The glass was cleaned and thrown away, and my father had replaced the lightbulb in the lamp earlier the previous night. My mother had stripped my bed and a new comforter took the place of the old one.  
_

_My hands felt tingly again. I could feel a sense of energy, stronger than last night. I felt almost weightless, lightheaded even but my veins pulsed from searing blood.  
_

_My mother's to my right, sitting on the bed beside me.  
_

_"It's almost time." She smiles. "It's going to be so beautiful, can't you feel it?"  
_

_"I feel..." I'm quiet for a moment as I rub the tips of my index fingers with my thumbs, feeling a small spark of electricity as they collide. "I feel energized."  
_

_"As do I. The blue moon, it has that effect on us women in the family. Grandma felt it too." She says, "You are special you know."_

_"What do you mean?" I ask. Looking up at her now, she takes my right hand in her left and she's about to tell me, I can see it on her face. She's going to tell me why I feel this way, maybe she'll even explain everything to me but then suddenly both our jaws tense. Our bodies suddenly coming to a still,our chests refusing to move as we hold our breath._

_There's a crash downstairs. A hard thud. I can hear my father now - yelling. There are voices, many voices. Three or four, maybe if I can guess. Then there's more crashing. I hear my father still, his voice trembling and shaky. His voice is so unusual. A tone I've never heard before.  
_

_Mother tells me to hide but I'm frozen. She's whispering but yelling all at the same time, grabbing me by my arms now as my head spins and she's trying to shove me inside the closet but then she's torn off me. Pale hands gripping her arms and she screams.  
_

_I scream. It's loud and then it's not.  
_ _The wind howls, blowing through my hair and tangling it around my face, whipping across my skin as I shiver. It was cold. My eyes blurred with tears._

_My ears were ringing. The sound of branches snapping under heavy boots along with my mother's muffled pleas and cries, the sound of glass clinking together inside a wooden box and heavy breathing were the only sounds I could hear._

_Strong hands gripped my arms leading me through the forest behind our house.My mother and father walked up ahead, two large men holding them as we manoeuvred through the thick leafy branches. Another man off to the side, carrying the box. There was nothing I could do but follow._

_Then we stop. In the middle of the forest, they take my mother and shove her down to the ground as she lands hard on her knees. A tall, slender man stands before her and the moon glimmers off the knife he holds in his hand. Near his feet sits the wooden box filled with vials. Bottles upon bottles, empty but topped with corks._

_My father was held off the side, the man that stood behind him looked similar to the one in front of my mother. Something about both of them seemed off, lifeless almost. They were pale, too pale to have been out in the summer sun. Too pale to be from around here. The moon above gleamed of blue,as the stars sparkled in its glow. Branches above swayed in the warm breeze, the rustling sound hushing my mother's whispering pleas._

_I try to free myself from the unknown grasp of the person behind me when her voice whispers into my ear. "Stay still," She urges me, "Don't make any sudden movements and I might be able to help you."_

_I freeze._

_The woman behind me tightens her grip, her fingers digging into my skin. We watch the man take the knife to my mother's wrists as he slices it open, her right and then her left._

_Gripping her arm in his hand tightly as he watches her blood drip down towards her elbows, staining the edges of her white blouse. He squeezes it more now, drawing as much of her dark, blue blood as he can. Blood unlike any other I had seen before. It continues to ooze out as he holds a vial up and lets it fill. The other man takes another, holding it beneath the other arm to do the same._

_The man in front of her looks hungry, ravished and ready to tear something apart like an animal in the darkness, a snarl curls at the corners of his lips and I see his teeth, sharp and pointed. Then dark veins begin trickling down his cheeks below his dark eyes. I'm convinced now this isn't happening, this isn't real. This must be a dream, people like this, things like this don't exist.  
_

_Things like this don't just happen.  
_

_My father lets out a wail. Take me instead, he pleas, leave my wife alone. I watch as my father flails around in the hands of the man behind him, but the man holding him doesn't move. He holds my father tightly as if it was only a slight annoyance to him as if he weighed nothing._

_They exchange a few angry words and my father spits at him which takes a turn for the worst when he's suddenly gripped by his neck, his breathing hitched in his throat as he gasps for air. The man lifts him, my fathers' feet dangle inches above the ground before he is slammed into earth, his body is limp when it's met with the warm soil beneath him, the dirt still damp from the storm the night before.  
_

_His fingers grip into the soil as I cry out, hot tears streaming down my face when a cold hand is slapped across my mouth muffling any further screams.  
_

_"Shut her up." The man snarls, turning to face me with his foot on my father's chest.  
_

_My mother continues to bleed out, three or four vials have been filled now and my father tries to turn and look at my mother. I hear her whisper something, I'm sorry, I think she says. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."  
_

_I wonder what she's sorry for.  
_

_She pulls away from the man, trying to rip her arms out of his grasp and she screams now. Screaming for her life and screaming in pain as her forearms tear. The cuts deepening every time she tries to yank herself free, blood coming out of her faster than the two men can fill the bottles now and they become angry as it starts to spill onto the ground.  
_

_"A waste." The other man growls. "A waste of goddamn good blood, stop moving." He's yelling now, trying to fill the bottles quickly. The man holding my mother's arms snarls, pulling her into him dragging her knees through the dirt as he sinks to her level, leaning ominously over her, his face inches from hers._

_"Try me again and the next time I cut you it will be your throat." He spits at her. "Right in front of your husband, in front of your precious little daughter."  
_

_My father is restrained, the man looming above him holding him down now with his foot. The tread of his boot laid firmly on top of his chest.  
_

_His breathing is rapid, as he struggles to find air but he calls out anyway, "Let her go. Let her go!" He yells over and over again, his voice hoarse and scratchy.  
_

_"Do it." My mother insists. "Cut my throat, you'll get what you want faster."  
_

_"And just why would I do that?" He asks. "When it's so much more fun watching your skin fade to pale grey as I take every last drop of your blood."_

_"You disgusting animal - you monster!" She hisses back. "There's a reason your kind are damned to hell."_

_He lets out a sadistic chuckle, "Ah... but don't you see, your blood is the answer to all our problems and well, I could drain you dry myself but my clan needs this more than me. And I'm not selfish, unlike you bluebloods... Keeping your power locked away inside your veins, keeping it to yourself as if you are of any importance to the world. No," He smiles, "Don't you see. You have one use and that's this," he says digging the knife back into one of her cuts as she lets out a scream._

_"This is all you are good for. We need this, to fight, to be quicker than our enemies. And you? You need this for nothing. Once we have what we need, you are nothing more than a dirty, lyinglittle faerie."_

_"Go to hell." She says, the words sizzling off her tongue like venom.  
_

_My father screams again. And then suddenly there is a sound, a loud crunch and a grunt, a heavy boot coming into contact with bone. I squeeze my eyes shut, whimpering quietly, holding my breath as the silence fills the air._

_"Good." The man says and I open my eyes as he is now holding my mother by both her arms, raising them as the blood drips down to her elbow and into the glass below. "He was useless anyway, he isn't one of them."_

_I don't dare turn my head to the left where my father once was, I keep my eyes locked on the back of my mother's head. Her long hair cascading down her back nearing her tail bone and she looks as though her skin is sparkling beneath the moonlight, the blue rays casting a cool glow around her._

_"Your daughters next." He chuckles._

_My mother screams, "She hasn't changed yet, please, she doesn't know, she doesn't understand she's only a child."_

_He leans down towards her ear, and softly he says "Then we force the change. It only takes a what, an hour under the blue moon? Perfect timing." He smiles as he backs away, not once taking his hands off her wrists. "See," He says nodding in my direction, "Dirty. A dirty little half-blood faerie."_

_My mothers rambling now, crying as words sputter out of her and the two men just laugh, the woman behind me stiffens. Her grip loosens for a moment._

_My mother's arms begin to go limp and her head bobs up and down slowly as she tries to hold her conciseness and I feel sick and helpless._

_The fear I felt rising in the pit of my stomach suddenly became a tangible, living force that crept its way over me, consuming me in its dark heavy cloak, suffocating me. Its tentacles engulfing my body, squeezing me and immobilizing my limbs; my brain holding me captive. I couldn't form any words. I wasn't sure what to say or if I should try screaming again._

_I love you, I thought. I love you, mom. I'm sorry, I can't save you. I can't help you._

_I love you._

_The tears are coming faster now and my face is hot, my hands are tingling and my body is surging like my veins are filled with lightning. Lightning in a bottle, asking for release and I don't know how, I don't know how to rid myself of it without starting a fire, without losing control._

_What would they do if I let it?_

_Then suddenly the woman behind me speaks, her voice was soft and angelic, the complete opposite of the men she was with. When she spoke it came out gentle but strong, "No," she demands, " If she hasn't changed that means she's a half-blood, she is still human. I can erase her memory. We let her go."_

_The man scoffs, "And why would we do such a silly thinglike that, pray do tell?"_

_"She's too young, even if we let the moon change her. We won't get the amount of blood we need. I say we let her go, keep our eyes on her. Find her again, when she's fully grown and changed and take what we need then. Her mothers' blood will suffice enough for now."  
_

_He's hesitant. Thinking to himself for a moment, a moment that seems like and hour but is merely minutes. "Fine. Do it before I change my mind." He growls, my mother tries to scream again, trying now to turn and look at me, "Do it now, Eredessa!"_

_I open my mouth to tell my mother thatI love her, that I'll remember her — always, and that's when I hear it. A loud snap, a crunch of bones as a sea of brown hair and a white cotton blouse falls to the ground connecting with the earth below. Merging now into one as my eyes go wide with horror._

_My heart stops and before I can let the scream claw its way out of my throat I'm met with dark, hazel eyes and curls of brown hair cascading around a woman's face. Mocha skin, smooth and flawless in the light of the moon. Her eyes were warm though, unlike the others, a glimmer of something in them. Humanity, I thought. Something the other two men lacked._

_She doesn't take a second to hesitate as she starts talking. As she glares into my eyes, I lose focus. Her angelic voice swirling around me but I couldn't care less about what she was saying, I wasn't listening. All I could hear was the thunder in my heart and the zapping of my fingertips and the heat of my body that was waiting to ignite inside me, like a match waiting to be lit._

_Slowly, she began backing me away from the scene, telling me to "Run, go home," she says. "Tell your neighbours you got lost, your parents went out and never came back, you went looking but couldn't find them."_

_I look at her dazed as the buzzing, tv static feeling in my mind only grew as the sudden reality of the night set in._

_My chest felt heavy and I wasn't sure why she thought she could make me forget, but I let her believe she did._

_I needed to get away, to run and this was my chance. I nod, and she blinks. She looks concerned for a moment and then a look of realization crosses her face, she takes a step back. She knew whatever she was trying to do, it didn't work. I'm scared for a moment, I knew I shouldn't have nodded, I should've just turned around and ran but I'm surprised at what she does next._

_Instead of telling the others, she closes her eyes for a moment and when she opens them she looks at me. "Go," she mouths. And I do._

_My feet smack down hard onto the warm pavement beneath me as I make my way back onto the street, out from the woods. Branches and leaves are stuck in my hair and my clothes. Dirt covering my feet and tears staining my cheeks. I heave in and out trying to catch my breath but my body was giving up. A little more, I tell myself, you're almost there._

_There's crying and I'm on Damiens doorstep, banging and banging, screaming to be let in._

_Then I hear him, I hear his parents. I'm inside now. I'm warm but my heart is cold. Movements and people are scurrying, a blurred rush of colours and sounds. A phone call and sirens. Police officers and questions. Bruises and a paramedic. Sitting in warm water, a bath. Going to bed in a house beside my own, yet feeling so far away. Waiting. There's so much waiting. Then there was hopelessness._

"I can't breathe, please, Roman make it stop." I can feel my knees against the hard floor, the same position my mother had been in the night she died and that made it all worse. "Please."

Roman only pushed his fingers in harder, "I'm almost done, I promise. It will only hurt more if you don't finish the memory." I hear him say through blurry vision. Slipping now in and out of reality.

I hear arguing. An angry voice, who's I'm unsure as it's hard to make out but they're begging Roman to stop. But I'm sucked back into the memory.

_I remember the police finding their phones. Thrown outside in our backyard. Checking through my house and finding the living room torn apart, which they assumed was domestic violence. They found their bodies a day later, a suicide pact they said. A wife kills her husband and then slits her own wrists. It made the paper, it was a small, rural town in British Columbia. Everyone knew._

_I didn't return home for a while after that. The days turned into weeks, into months and then blurs of darkness. I felt numb and that's when I decided to go back. I entered through the back door of my home, surprisingly it was still unlocked as I entered the boot room._

_Making my way now through the living area, pillows scattered across the floor with broken glass from lights that had been knocked over, picture frames scattered off the walls lay amongst the floor. Blankets and ripped papers, a vase of dead flowers lay upon the carpet in a dry stain from where the water once soaked through - a sea of misery._

_I make my way upstairs. They squeak. My bedroom door is still open, untouched from that night.I flip the light switch on. Entering the room, I see the dent of the door handle is still freshly indented in the plaster of the wall. It was silent but I could hear the screaming still fresh in my mind. My comforter still has the indentations from where my mother and I once sat, where our eyes last met before all of it._

_I could feel the pulsing of my veins again, I hadn't felt it since that night. They were aching and throbbing a pressure building beneath my skin and up my forearms reaching the tips of my elbows. Tingling fingers and a rush of adrenaline as a burning sensation ripples through me and I can feel the scream that bellows out from deep within my core but I cannot hear it.  
_

_It's silent in my head but my body is releasing a sound I've never heard before, something so unnatural. I feel the tidal waves of my own tears pulling me under, drowning me in their sorrows. My breathing is quick and heavy now and I find myself gasping for air between my sobs. I focus on finding five things I can see around me. Trying to find a way to calm myself._

_One, I can see the telescope, left the same way it was that night._

_Two,I see the closet door, it's left open from where I was supposed to hide._

_Three, I see the comforter, the one my mother had switched out after I had gotten blood on the blue one the night before._

_Four, I see the window. It's shut and locked, both the curtains were drawn open, exposing the trees that lead into the forest._

_Five, I see my reflection in the glass. I see my eyes, glossed over and puffy and my flustered face and mess of brown hair._

_I drag my fingertips now along the nightstand, tracing them through the thin layer of dust that had collected, feeling it beneath my hand as I try to ground myself. Using a technique my mother had taught me._

_Find four things you can touch, she always said, so I did._

_I touched the nightstand and then the lamp, letting my hands lead me to the window frame. I traced my fingers along the wood of it and then I brought themover to the curtain, gripping its fabric in my right hand then bringing my other one up now too and collecting it in both of them._

_Then without thinking, I find myself ripping them down hard and fast to the ground. The metal pole falls from the wall, clunking against the wooden floor and through my tears, I let out another scream._

_The lights flicker._

_I think I can hear my mother's voice, "That's it darling" she says, "Now find three things you can hear." So I do._

_I_ _hear my heart pounding in my chest, then I can hear the howling of the wind outside as it rustles the branches and the fall leaves whip across the window. I can hear a clock and its ticking, I can't see it but I can hear it and now, I can't seem to focus on anything else. Tick. Tick. Tick. With each tick I found a wave of anger washing around inside me, sloshing up against a shore and sucking me in its hungry waves. I needed to find it, I needed it to stop._

_Everything needed to stop._

_I can't stop myself from what I do next. Tearing apart everything that lays before me, anything that stands in my way and my throat is burning, searing from the ferocious screams that rip their way through me as my blood boils. My fingertips growing hotter and hotter and I can feel the wind outside like it's in my veins. The howling of it stirring in my own stomach as it bellows through my body and out my throat._

_I'm ripping apart the bed, knocking over picture frames, kicking piles of clothes that were left sprawled across the floor and then I find it, hiding in the corner under a couple of old blankets, pillows and books sits an old yellow clock. One I used to keep on my nightstand, and I remember now the ticking before that kept me up at night. I remember the time I woke and ripped it off my nightstand, stomping over to the other side of my room and shoving it beneath the blankets and pillows as I muffled the sound._

_I hold it now in my hands and I'm angry. Angry because it's loud and all I want is quiet or maybe because it has been quiet for too long. But mostly I find myself angry because I never took the batteries out, angry because it's still here and they're not. It's still alive, ticking away the time with each passing day while their bodies rot in a casket six feet underground._

_Then, I feel my hands grip tighter around the round yellow clock. Eyes glazed over from the storm of my own emotions and that's when I feel the lightning and the next thing I know I'm screaming, falling to my knees and smashing it. Over and over bringing it up and down, in the air above my head and down again - connecting it against the hardwood floors, again and again until it stops._

_The ticking stops like a heart that was once beating and my screams turn into wails._

_I grip the floor beneath me to steady myself and let out one last blow, taking the clock and smashing it one last time and as I do the lights start rattling. The wind outside picks up and then it's quiet. The silence is cut through from sharp glass shattering around the room. The light on the ceiling, the lamp and the window exploding all together, all at once and as the final wail escapes me I feel the tingling sensation run through my fingers and into the floorboards like electricity as I let out a long breath._

I'm brought out of the memory, my hands gripping the floor just I had done that day in my room and my heart was pounding in my chest.

The ghost of Romans fingertips linger where they were once placed on my temples and I can feel a wetness on my cheeks from where tears had escaped my eyes. My eyes were sore and I struggled to get them open, and before I could manage someone else's body met with mine. A chest colliding into my back as thick tattooed arms wrap around me sheltering me from a blow - an explosion of glass.

Fragments flying around us scattering upon the ground as I cry out and I hadn't realized but the heat in my body was seeping down into the floor, rumbling beneath my fingertips and I knew I had done it again.


End file.
